Supporting ADHD Kids in Church: How to Facilitate a Positive Experience

Aren’t Sabbath Days supposed to be peaceful? If you have ever brought a child with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) to church you probably didn’t feel too much of the peace of which the pastor was preaching about.

One minute your child is sitting still and the next, they’re fidgeting and asking questions (why does this always happen during the quietest part of the service?). It’s difficult to keep any child quiet and still for long periods but feel impossible if your child has ADHD.

Tips for Supporting ADHD Kids in Church

Here are a few tried-and-true ways to make church a more positive experience for ADHD kids and their families.

Pray together

Start your morning with a quiet moment of prayer together. Ask God for peace and focus during the service. Let your child know that it’s okay to feel fidgety or distracted, but with God’s help, they can do their best to listen and engage. Remind them that church is a time to grow closer to God and that’s something worth focusing on.

Explain what is happening

Prepare your child for what will happen during the service and what your expectations are. Sometimes kids with ADHD struggle to stay engaged simply because they don’t understand the flow of the service or they can’t anticipate what is coming next.

Give your child the heads up about the order of service and any unique events that might be happening during their time at church. Knowing what will come next can help your child feel less anxious and give them something to focus on.

Set realistic expectations (for both of you)

It’s important to adjust your own expectations when attending church with an ADHD child. They might not be able to sit still or stay silent the whole time. Give them grace and give yourself an extra heap of grace too.

If they need to wiggle or whisper, it doesn’t mean that they’re misbehaving. Thankfully God doesn’t expect perfection from you, so you should follow His example and not expect it from them.

Don’t skip song time

Although it might be tempting to be “fashionably late” for church so your child doesn’t have to sit still as long, you might be robbing them of the only part of the service they understand. Children love music, and those with ADHD are no exception.

Take advantage of the parts of the service that involve singing and encourage your child to participate in whatever way feels right for them such as singing along, clapping their hands, or swaying to the beat. The music breaks up the quieter parts of the service and provides a much-needed outlet for their energy.

Sit in a spot that works for them

We all have our favorite row, am I right? But what works for you might not be best for your child with ADHD. Some kids do better sitting closer to the front where they can clearly see what is going on and are less distracted by the people in front of them.

Others might need to sit in the back where they feel less pressure to sit perfectly still and can fidget without disturbing others. Experiment with different seating locations and find out what makes the most sense for your child.

Create quiet communication methods

Obviously, you can’t hold a full conversation with your child during service, but you should develop a way to communicate with them, even during the quiet parts of the service. If your child needs to go to the bathroom or is feeling distressed, they should have a way to communicate that to you without disrupting the whole row.

Create some gestures or hand signals or even a few simple words you can write on a piece of paper that help you communicate with your child. Simple phrases and concepts such as having to use the restroom, being thirsty, or communicating that they need to wait should all be worked out before service.

Create a “church kit”

Practically speaking, you can’t haul a toy box into 9 AM service, but a small, compact tote filled with goodies might be the key to your Sunday morning sanity. This kit might include a colorful notepad and pencils for doodling, a soft stress ball or other fidget toy, some stickers (just be sure the sweet elderly woman in front of you doesn’t become a canvas), and a children’s Bible with engaging images. Reserve this kit to be used only during church services and not accessible at any other time to keep it interesting.

Use visual aids

Do a little research before the service to find out the topic of the sermon. Then bring some visual aids with you to help illustrate the sermon to your child. For example, if the sermon topic is on Noah’s Ark, bring a couple of small toy animals for your child to play with during the service.

Break up the service

Sometimes sitting through an entire service can be too much for a child with ADHD, especially if it’s long. Plan for a break midway through the service to give your child a soft reset. Take a bathroom break, walk the foyer, or even step outside for a breath of fresh air. Bring them back in time for the parts of the service that they enjoy such as the time to greet people or music.

Get them involved

For some kids with ADHD, church can bring on the issue of sensory overload. With lots of lights, sounds, and people talking all around them at once, it can overwhelm them and cause them stress.

If your child is old enough and capable enough, consider finding a place in the church where they can serve. Maybe they can help (with your assistance) in the nursery, or they can assist in preparing the after-service treat in the kitchen.

Giving your child a place to serve within the community may give them a more positive experience with the church than if they are forced to sit still in a pew and listen to a service geared toward adults.

Volunteer for children’s church

If your church offers an alternative place for children to go during Sunday services, consider volunteering. Remember that most churches are not staffed with professional teachers, so they might not have the training to deal with a child with ADHD, but that doesn’t mean that your child can’t participate. If you’re in the classroom with your child, you can monitor their behavior and give helpful tips on how to best handle them to the staff.

Discuss options with church staff

It’s only been recently that the mainstream world has become aware of the impact that ADHD can have on a child and how to better meet their needs. If your church does not already have a quiet family room with a closed-captioning video of the service, maybe you can suggest and help pioneer this advancement.

Perhaps your pastor would be willing to allow children to join the service partway through, so it isn’t such a time commitment for little ones with short attention spans. Or maybe the church can provide coloring pages that go along with the sermon topic to help keep little hands busy.

Most churches will try to work to accommodate their littlest members and maybe you’re the one meant to educate them on making accommodations for those with ADHD.

Give them (and yourself) grace

For families dealing with ADHD, Sunday church services can be an exhausting and overwhelming experience. God sees you and He understands all the intricacies and eccentricities that build your life. Pray for wisdom, seek grace for your church family, and model love for your children and when they are grown, they will not depart from the love of God but will gravitate to church for comfort and guidance.

Finding Additional Support for ADHD

Don’t make church a punishment in the eyes of your children. Instead, find creative solutions to help your children thrive in engaging activities while learning more about their Creator. If you need additional help, consult a Christian therapist to give you specific ideas on how to help your child thrive at church and in their daily lives. Contact our office today to find a Christian therapist near you.