Abandonment and Neglect

At their most basic, abandonment and neglect may be defined as follows:

Abandonment: Merriam-Webster.com gives the legal definition of abandonment as “failure to have contact with a spouse that is intended to create a permanent separation” or “failure to communicate with or provide financial support for one’s child over a period of time that shows a purpose to forego parental duties and rights.”

Neglect: By contrast, the same website lists the legal definition of neglect as “a disregard of a duty resulting from carelessness, indifference, or willfulness; especially: a failure to provide a child under one’s care with proper food, clothing, shelter, supervision, medical care, or emotional stability.” Though this definition is mainly focused on children, the first part of the definition may also be applied to spouses.

Abandonment and neglectare multifaceted problems that fall into one of two main categories based on the age of the victim.

Child Abandonment or Neglect: Child abandonment is a crime that occurs when a child is deserted by a parent, guardian, or authority figure with no regard for the safety, health, or well-being of the child. Similarly, child neglect happens when the things necessary for the child’s safety, health, or well-being are withheld, not provided, or not adequately provided by the person legally responsible for them.

A variety of behaviors fall under the broad category of child abandonment, including (but not limited to):

• Leaving a child or infant with another person, on the side of a road, in a dumpster or trash can, or on a doorstep, with the intent of not returning for them.
• Providing minimal or no support or communication with a child.
• Leaving a child at home alone for periods of time so that their health or safety was put at serious risk.
• General unwillingness to care for, support or supervise a child.
• Extreme cases of emotional neglect over long periods of time.

Adult Abandonment or Neglect:

Adult abandonment or neglect can take several forms. The two most common are marital abandonment and senior dependent neglect.

Marital abandonment takes place when one spouse leaves the marriage without justification or mutual agreement, refusing to fulfill his/her responsibilities or duties. Similarly, neglect can take place within a marriage when one partner withholds support, emotional interaction, sex, etc. without adequate justification.

Examples of marital abandonment or neglect include:

• Leaving one’s spouse without justification and without providing any financial support.
• Severing ties with one’s family without mutual consent or justification.
• Regularly and consistently withholding sex from one’s spouse without justification.
• Refusing to care for a spouse who has serious health problems.
• Refusing to provide support or care for minor children.

Like child neglect, senior dependent neglect happens when the things necessary for the senior’s safety, health, or well-being are withheld, not provided, or not adequately provided. This would include things such as:

• Providing inadequate food, clothing, shelter, or medical care.
• Providing minimal or no communication with the senior.
• Leaving a seniorwho is unable to care for themselvesat home alone for periods of time such that his or her health or safety is jeopardized.
• General unwillingness to care for, support, or supervise a senior for whom one is legally or morally responsible.
• Emotional neglect.

If you have suffered some sort of abandonment or neglect, it is important for you to seek help. You don’t have to deal with this on your own. The counselors at Seattle Christian Counseling can help you find a way through the pain, grief, and mistrust to a place of healing and peace.

It should come as no surprise that neglect and abandonment issuescan cause a range of ramifications that may have profound effects on a victim’s ability to develop and maintain healthy relationships.

Effects of childhood neglect or abandonment issues include (but are not limited to):

• Chronic anxiety or insecurity
• Flashbacks from the abandonment
• Poor self-image
• Depression
• Tendency toward isolation
• Feelings of not having control
• Panic attacks
• Obsessing over the abandonment
• Extreme emotional reactions to feeling insulted, criticized, or left out
• Vulnerability in social situations
• Substance abuse

Seattle Christian Counseling has a number of licensed family counselors who are skilled at providing counseling for children. If your child has experienced abandonment or neglect, please contact us today.

Though the abandonment or neglect may have happened in their childhood, it is common for victims to have to deal with the effects of it in their adulthood. They may require counseling for abandonment issues even though it occurred much earlier in life.

Adult symptoms of abandonment issues may include:

• A sense of worthlessness
• Deep insecurity
• Withdrawal
• Need for excessive reassurance
• Substance abuse
• Self-harm
• Complacency
• Poor self-image

In addition to many of the effects listed above, effects of marital and senior abandonment may also include (but are not limited to):

• Confusion and disbelief
• Extreme emotional pain
• Shame
• Serious trust issues
• Grief
• Self-doubt
• Hopelessness or despair

Abandonment or neglect can have serious effects on a person’s relationships at every stage in their life. Unless addressed, they can continue to destroy relationships at the foundations and render it impossible for a person to be able to form and maintain healthy relationships with friends, relatives, or a spouse.

More importantly, abandonment issues can make it hard for a person to trust that God will not abandon or neglect them. Our Lord Jesus Christ said to His disciples, “I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20b).

Jesus also gave this precious promise:

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. – Matthew 11:28-29

So, whether you have been abandoned or neglected by parents, spouse, children, caretaker, guardian, or loved one, know that God will never leave those who look to Him in faith, and that rest for your soul can be found in God’s Son, Jesus Christ.

If you have been the victim of abandonment or abuse as an adult or are still dealing with the effects of abandonment or neglect from your childhood, please get in touch with us.

The counselors at Seattle Christian Counseling want to help you work through any lingering effects of abandonment by means of faith-based counseling so that you can find hope, peace, healing, and faith in Christ.

Can a person recover from abandonment issues?

Absolutely! It is quite possible to overcome these issues. Neglect and abandonment issues are more common than you might think, and victims are frequently able to come to a new perspective on themselves, on life, and on God that will bring about emotional and spiritual healing.

How long does Christian counseling last?

There is no set amount of time for Christian counseling since the needs of each person are different. Depending on what you are struggling with, how dedicated you are to the treatment, and other factors, the counselor you select will help you figure out what types of counseling you may need and how long it might last.

How do I find the right Christian counselor?

It is important to select a counselor that you feel comfortable opening up to. You should also look for someone who is experienced in counseling people for abandonment and neglect related issues. Browse our counselor directory to find one who fits your needs.

A Christian counselor can provide the help you need to begin your journey of healing. They will provide a safe environment for you to open up about your experiences, fears, and anxieties, and will help you to process the trauma you have experienced because of the abandonment or neglect.

You do not have to deal with the effects of abandonment issues alone. At Seattle Christian Counseling, our goal is to help you come to terms with the abandonment and overcome its effects in your life. To find out more about counseling for abandonment or neglect issues or to set up an initial risk-free session, contact us online or call us at 206-388-3929.