Marriage Counseling

First, let’s face the most obvious question you might have: Does marriage counseling work? The answer is a resounding, YES. The research and statistics speak for themselves. Marriage counseling is scientifically proven to help married couples.

Couples who get marriage counseling are happier than 70-80% of those who don’t get counseling!

Most people benefit from marriage counseling. According to a survey taken by the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, about 98% report receiving good to excellent therapy. 97% said they got what they needed and 93% had more effective tools for dealing with marital problems.

You take those odds and add our unique, faith-based approach and you have a recipe for marital success. At Seattle Christian Counseling, we have helped even the most desperate couples find healing – including those who were unhappy with marriage counseling in the past. So do we think marriage counseling works? Absolutely! We stand by Christian marriage counseling as a way to transform your marriage into a thriving, Christ-centered union under God.

Is it Time for Counseling?

Did you know that there are roughly 60 million marriages in the U.S. today and of those only 20-25% end in divorce? You’ve probably heard the heart-breaking statistic that half of all marriages in our country fail, which is a common misconception — one that often sets couples up for failure before they even begin.

The good news is marriage success rates have been grossly unreported.

That being said, there are things that when left unchecked are proven to lead to divorce. At Seattle Christian Counseling, we hope to help struggling marriages by providing them with accurate information about marriage, tools for overcoming challenges and hope through Christian marriage counseling.

We combine our love of God and His ordained unity and purpose for marriage to help couples find faith-based solutions that last. Whether you are a premarital couple, have only been married a few years, or have struggled with marital problems to the point of breaking, Christian marriage counseling can provide you with much-needed hope and guidance.

How can Christian marriage counseling save your marriage? For starters, all of our counselors are highly-trained professionals who are passionate about helping marriages heal and thrive. We provide customized treatment plans for each couple, specifically geared towards their unique needs. Though the approach might differ from couple to couple, the outcome goals are all very similar.

Christian marriage counseling can help you:

• Discover ways to resolve disagreements in a healthy way.
• Communicate more effectively.
• State your needs openly without fear or anger.
• Process and work through tough issues.
• Develop a better understanding and appreciation for your spouse.
• Set goals for your future together.
• Restore intimacy and trust.
• Find ways to connect spiritually and live out your faith together.

Our Christian counselors use insight-oriented marital therapy, proven to be 97% successful! This method focuses on the idea that we can function better and form more fulfilling relationships by first connecting with ourselves. Learning who we are while understanding our own emotions and why we act in certain ways gives us insight for healing on many levels.

At Seattle Christian Counseling, we have helped couples of all ages, backgrounds and troubles find hope and healing. No matter is too small or too large for Christ. If you’re struggling, Christian marriage counseling is here for you.

Nearly 70% of married couples say they are “very happy.”

You might be surprised to hear that most are generally happy in their marriage. In fact, one survey for the National Fatherhood Initiative Marriage Survey in 2005 found that nearly 70% were “very happy,” nearly 30% were “happy,” and less that 4% were “not too happy.”

A common misconception is that people are generally unhappy in marriage. Believe it or not, statistics show that if you’re unhappy in your marriage, you are in the minority. This can mean a number of things about your marriage. It might be that over the years a lot of little hurts have added up to what feels like a mountain of problems. In other cases, foundational changes in your marriage might need to be worked through which given some time and effort can bring great reward and satisfaction to the marriage.

Him vs. Her – Communication in Relationships

You’ve probably heard the saying, “men are from Mars and women are from Venus.” Men and women can be very different in how they think, their needs and how they express themselves. These differences can lead to problems with communication, among other issues. These issues make up the most common marriage problems we see. In fact, most marital issues aren’t what many consider “deal breakers,” but rather a buildup of misunderstandings, conflict and hurt feelings.

Christian marriage counseling can help you communicate better by:

• Identifying barriers to effective communication.
• Developing skills for becoming an engaged listener.
• Improving how you transmit and read nonverbal communication signals.
• Managing stress and emotional responses.
• Helping you assert your feelings and needs in a healthy way.

At Seattle Christian Counseling, we hope to share God’s vision for marriage. A vision of unity, love and a tool for growth. Sometimes that last part is hard. The process of personal and spiritual growth often comes with inner battles, conflict with your spouse and eventually realization of things that need to be changed for the betterment of yourself, your marriage and your walk with Christ Jesus.

Trust Issues in Marriage – Affairs, Infidelity and Sexual Addiction

Let’s be honest. Working through trust issues is especially difficult without third party intervention. On one hand you have the unfaithful spouse who feels awful and promises, “this will never happen again.” On the other side of things is a spouse who understandably has a hard time believing that promise. Now, what? Do you try to forgive and forget? Many try and many fail. Not because they can’t forgive, but because the underlying causes for the betrayal were never dealt with. This is where Christian counseling is particularly useful.

Christian marriage counseling can help you restore your marriage after a betrayal by helping you work through:

• Processing symptoms of betrayal including flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety, lack of sexual desire, depression and more.
• Underlying issues that lead to things like affairs, pornography addiction and sex addiction. These kinds of things are almost always caused by deeply rooted issues that can be very hard to resolve without professional help.
• Understanding your many emotions and fears, build better habits and grow as a couple so you can rebuild trust naturally rather than trying to force it.

After discovering an affair or other problems that cause trust issues, it’s normal to feel hopeless, overwhelmed and like your marriage can never recover. We’ve seen couples come out of these situations not only healed but stronger than ever. Often the darkest moments of our lives are allowed by God as a way of teaching, growth and wisdom.

Godly Marriage – Faith and Spirituality as a Couple

The Surprising Secrets of High Happy Marriages study, Shaunti Feldhahn, 2013.

Does having a God-centered marriage make a difference? We think so. Studies show that couples who share the same faith and worship together are 35-50% less likely to divorce. Though the Bible doesn’t teach marrying outside of the faith, this does happen. Sometimes one partner will come to faith after getting married or become more involved with the church. Whatever your case might be, if issues of faith are causing conflict in your marriage, Christian marriage counseling can help.

Our counselors can help couples of the same or different belief systems by:

• Helping you discover appreciation for the spiritual needs of your spouse.
• Discovering ways to connect in your unique expressions of spirituality.
• Coming to understanding of decisions regarding faith and children.
• Using your faith to grow as a couple, even if there are differences in beliefs.

Maybe you’re struggling because you’re married to a non-believer. We understand your concern and how that can affect many areas of your life together. At Seattle Christian Counseling, we offer you support and tools for discussing these sensitive issues. We also provide support for Christian couples who want tools and guidance for building a stronger, Christ-centered marriage.

Money Matters – Marriage and Finances

Life can be stressful. Did you know that worry over money is one of the leading problems for couples? In fact, about 64% of couples say that money issues are a “significant” source of stress. These kinds of struggles can have a huge strain in your marriage, causing lack of security that carries over into your relationship. Often money matters can be handled with help from a financial adviser, but sometimes financial trouble is a symptom of a deeper emotional issue that leads to things like gambling, spending money carelessly, or hiding money from your spouse. If this sounds like you or your spouse, then it might be time for marriage counseling. Though we can’t offer legal financial advice, we can help you start the conversation towards healing.

Christian marriage counseling can help with money and finances by helping you:

• Deal with financial infidelity by addressing the cause and working to build trust.
• Address behaviors that cause financial hardship such as gambling and shopping addictions.
• Learn to communicate better so you can budget and share financial responsibility.
• Set goals aimed toward building a more financially secure future.

Worrying about money can take away from the peace of your marriage. Jesus teaches that we should have faith, pursue righteousness and the kingdom of God and that all else will be added to us. That being said, financial troubles can stem from other issues such as mental or emotional health problems.

Sexual Intimacy – How to Spice up Your Marriage

Some of the most common marriage problems involve issues related to sex and intimacy. It’s normal for couples to experience troubles like these, but when the issues last or when communication has broken down because of hurt feelings or neglect, then it might be time for professional help. Christian marriage counseling can help you grow as individuals and as a couple so that you can connect more fully and learn how to talk about these sensitive issues.

Sexual problems Christian marriage counseling can help with include:

• Low sexual desire and frequency disagreements.
• Expectations and health of the high desire partner.
• Sexual performance issue and anxieties.
• Sex addiction.

Sexual intimacy problems are often a symptom of other issues in your relationship. We offer you a safe place for uncovering these problems together so you can grow as a couple and reclaim a healthy and fulfilling sex life.

Marriage After Baby – Parenting as a Couple

You have probably heard people say that having a baby changes everything – and that is true in a lot of ways. Having children is one of life’s most precious gifts and honors, but it also brings a lot of challenges. As a couple, you have to decide how to parent your child, how to share the responsibilities of parenthood and make big decisions for your new family. On top of all that, you’re balancing these responsibilities with work and trying to make time for one another. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or disconnected from your spouse, it’s important to fix these issues before they snowball into bigger problems down the road.

In Christian marriage counseling your counselor will help you by:

• Understanding your own parenting style and the things which influence your approach.
• Defining the core values of each partner as it relates to child rearing.
• Identifying areas of conflict and work towards compromise.
• Discussing various parenting responsibilities and how they can be shared fairly.
• Discovering how to better interact with your children to promote the behavior you want and end behaviors you don’t want.
• Helping you and your spouse maintain a healthy, intimate marriage after children.

Christian marriage counseling can help you learn how to parent as a couple while maintaining a healthy and satisfying relationship. Whether you’re expecting, new parents, or have been parents for years, you can run into parental roadblocks that harm the health of your home and marriage. If you feel stuck, we might be able to help.

As a child of God, everything – including your hardships – works in your favor. Though it can be very difficult to see that when you’re in the middle of it all, at Seattle Christian Counseling, we are here to hold that hope and faith for you and your marriage and offer you tools for coming out the darkness into the healing and light of Christ.

Insight-Oriented Marital Therapy: A 4-Year Follow-Up Study,” Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, Vol. 59 (1), Feb. 1991.

The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce

What leads people to divorce? Oftentimes the number one reason is lost hope. When you feel hopeless, lost, or like things will never get better, you might feel that divorce will help you escape from the pain you feel. You’ll have a new start and a chance at happiness, right? Though there are times when divorce is the best choice, more often than not, couples are less happy after a divorce.

Cutting off an arm is a drastic solution for a broken wrist – True, you probably feel that divorce is the only option, maybe even worth the pain to come. In fact, divorcees show a large increase in issues related to depression, anxiety and substance abuse.

Other common effects of divorce include:

• Financial strain – The average cost of divorce in the United States is about $15,000! Combined with split assets and providing for two households instead of one, divorce can cost you big time. This pales in comparison to the cost of marriage counseling, even though paying for counseling is one of the more common reasons why couples don’t get help.
• Negative effects for your children – Divorce can have huge, sometimes lasting effects on children. They might be confused, blame themselves, or feel torn and pressured to choose sides. Divorce can cause children to act out, perform poorly in school, develop a fear of relationships and pull away from their parents. It’s a huge adjustment for children and when their parents are caught up in their own troubles, they might feel abandoned, scared and unsure about their future.
• Emotional and physical effects of divorce – The grass isn’t always greener after a divorce. Following divorce people are at higher risk for severe depression, substance abuse, sleep disorders and anxiety. The deep emotional pain and stress also put you at higher risk for medical issues. Divorced people have 20% more chronic health conditions such as heart disease, strokes, weight loss and cancer than people who are married.

So, you feel hopeless, but divorce doesn’t sound so good either. What do you do? You do everything you can to salvage your marriage. At Seattle Christian Counseling, we are dedicated to helping marriages in crisis overcome seemingly hopeless situations. We’ve helped couples overcome most any obstacle in their way, even for those who have tried marriage counseling before.

Did you know that if you’re having trouble in your marriage and stick it out for five years that you have an incredible 80% chance of finding happiness in your marriage?

Those are the kinds of odds we like at Seattle Christian Counseling. Marriage is a union created by God – one that is designed to help us learn, love and grow closer to Christ – a bond designed to last a lifetime.

Don’t waste any more time being unhappy in your marriage. Get your marriage back on track.

If you want to learn more about Christian marriage counseling or schedule your risk-free initial session*, give us a call at (206) 388-3929 or contact us online.