Codependency

Codependency is a crippling cycle in which a person is dependent upon a dysfunctional relationship for various needs, such as approval, love, or self-esteem. It involves an excessive amount of emotional, physical, and psychological reliance, often relating to a partner who is either in a harmful condition (such as an addict), or has an unhealthy level of needs. Codependency is often birthed from toxic living environments and can lead to several other concerns including relationship difficulty, addictions, eating disorders, or anger management struggles. Christian counseling for codependency seeks to heal the brokenhearted and help end the crippling cycle of codependent relationships.

Symptoms of Codependency

To offer a comprehensive list of codependency symptoms can be complicated. Those who have codependent tendencies tend to experience symptoms on two different ends of the spectrum – either extreme clinginess or extreme isolation. They may be either too dependent or too independent, and can even bounce back and forth between the two conditions.

However, here are some symptoms you might experience if you strugglewith codependency:

• Low self-esteem
• Consistent desire to please people at any cost
• Fear of saying “no”
• Poor boundaries
• Hypersensitive to other people’s thoughts and feelings
• A persistent habit to take things personally
• Strong need to care for or “fix” other people
• Ongoing attempts to control the behavior of others
• Poor communication skills
• Obsessing over relationship issues
• Fear of rejection or abandonment
• Difficulty ending unhealthy relationships
• Denial that you have a problem, often blaming others or circumstances
• Emotionally guarded, often from fear of rejection
• Anxiety
• Depression

Codependency is surprisingly common. Most people with codependency have unmet needs for love, intimacy, and self-worth, often stemming from circumstances experienced during childhood. These unresolved issues can often lead to an adult who relies on other people, substances, or other things such as work performance in order to feel they have value or to fill a void within themselves.

If you fear you might be codependent, don’t worry. The good news is that codependency is treatable. Christian counseling for codependency recovery can help you break the cycle of unhealthy relationships and attachments by coaching you toward establishing new, life-giving habits and relational practices.

Part of the challenge of this condition is that those with codependent personalities tend to attract partners who are either codependent themselves or are in other ways emotionally unstable. Most people with codependency issues balance an exhausting lifestyle that involves caring for others to the point where their own needs are neglected. They also try to control those around them in an attempt to guard themselves against their own emotional pain. This often produces a negative cycle in relationships.

Codependency is rather complex and affects people and their relationships differently. Though signs vary from one situation to another, many codependent people identify with the following statements:

Signs of a codependent relationship include:

• Your life revolves around your partner.
• No matter how you try, you’re never good enough.
• You’re a people pleaser.
• You tend to find yourself in relationships that are abusive or with substance abusers.
• You try to hide your emotions for fear of upsetting others.
• You feel trapped in your relationship, either feeling too guilty or scared to leave.
• Your mood is dictated by the moods and behaviors of your partner.
• You feel unappreciated or disrespected.
• You try to put your partner’s needs first and set poor boundaries.
• You often feel anxious or depressed.

The counselors at Seattle Christian Counseling are ready to guide you through the process of reclaiming your life and finding freedom from binding circumstances.

Break Free from Codependency through Christian Counseling

Sometimes clients come to us because they don’t know how to end a codependent relationship. Other times, both partners are committed to codependent relationship recovery. In either case, Christian counseling for codependency offers the solutions you need.

Counseling methods for codependency include:

• Psychotherapy to help you uncover and process events in your past that caused your codependency.
• Cognitive-behavioral therapy to help you gain awareness of your own thoughts, feelings, and behavior so you can gain better control and responsibility for your life, actions, and happiness.
• Family counseling for helping codependent families learn how to end negative behavior patterns, heal wounds, and build healthy relationships.
• Marriage counseling for codependent couples who want to end the toxic behaviors and patterns in their relationship.

Your counselor will evaluate your unique situation and develop a plan of treatment that suits your needs. Regardless of approach, common goals for Christian counseling for codependency include:

• Improving self-care
• Setting boundaries
• Challenging controlling behaviors
• Finding ways to help others in productive ways
• Gaining a better understanding of family patterns
• Working through issues of poor self-esteem

The counselors at Seattle Christian Counseling want to make sure you know and believe a few important truths:

You are uniquely created by God.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.– Psalm 139:14

God’s opinion is the only one that really matters.

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. – Galatians 1:10

Your life has a purpose.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”– Jeremiah 29:11

You are loved.

I have loved you with an everlasting love. –Jeremiah 31:3

At Seattle Christian Counseling, our hope is for you to discover and enjoy a life that is fulfilling, purposeful, and aligned with your core values. Christian counseling for codependency is designed to show you how to receive God’s love for you, how to focus on God’s purpose and love for you rather than seeking approval from others, and to lead you on a path toward self-discovery and healthy, life-giving relationships.

If you think you came from or currently live in a family in crisis, Christian counseling for codependency can help reshape the way you view yourself, your relationships, and your God-given freedoms, identity, and happiness. Learning how to stop codependent behavior takes time, but recovery is possible.

Can a person recover from codependency?

Yes! Overcoming codependency is certainly possible. Codependency is very common and many are able to learn new habits and ways of thinking that will promote healing over time.

How do I find the right Christian counselor?

Finding a counselor with whom you feel comfortable is important. You also want someone who is experienced in helping people who struggle with codependency and related issues. Take a look at our counselor directory to find a codependency counselor who suits your needs.

Does codependency affect men and women alike?

Yes. Though women are usually more likely to acknowledge that they have issues with codependency, men are equally affected by childhood issues that cause codependency traits. Christian counseling for codependency can help people of all ages, genders, and backgrounds.

Start the journey toward overcoming codependency today.

If you’re tired of unhealthy relationships with yourself and others, Christian counseling for codependency can help. Call us today at 206-388-3929 or contact us online to schedule your risk-free initial session*.