Overcoming Sexual Addiction: A Biblical Expression of the 12 Steps
Christian Counselor Seattle
In my practice as a professional Christian counselor, I frequently have the opportunity to work with individuals who are struggling with some type of addiction. Whether their addiction is behavioral or chemical, one of the things I ask my clients to do is to take part in a 12 Step recovery program. What few people realize is that the 12 Steps are rooted in the modern evangelical movement of the 1930s and 1940s and offer a Biblical way of living.
In this article, I present a summary of how one author conveys the scriptural roots of traditional 12 Steps work. As you will see, the 12 Steps have a rich spiritual benefit that can greatly assist one in the work of recovery.
Step 1:
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable.
For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. – Romans 7:15-20 (ESV)
Like us if you are enjoying this content.
Step 2:
We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
And Jesus said to him, “What do you want me to do for you?” And the blind man said to him, “Rabbi, let me recover my sight.” And Jesus said to him, “Go your way; your faith has made you well.” And immediately he recovered his sight and followed him on the way. – Mark 10:51-52 (ESV)
They came up to Jesus and saw the madman sitting there wearing decent clothes and making sense, no longer a walking madhouse of a man. – Mark 5:15 (MSG)
Step 3:
We made a decision to turn our will and our life over to the care of God as we understood Him.
And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. – Mark 12:30
Immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him. – Matthew 4:22
Step 4:
We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. – 1 John 1:8-9
…rend your hearts and not your garments. – Joel 2:13
Step 5:
We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. – James 5:16
Step 6:
We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
I appeal to you therefore, brothers by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. – Romans 12:1-2
Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! – Psalm 139:23-24
Step 7:
We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” Nicodemus said to him, “How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born?” Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.” – John 3:3-6
Step 8:
We made a list of all the persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. – Matthew 7:3-5
Step 9:
We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. – Matthew 5:23-24
You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him. You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord. – Leviticus 19:17-18
Step 10:
We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. – Mark 14:38
Step 11:
We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. – Luke 11:9-10
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. – Romans 8:26
Nevertheless, not as I will but as You will. – Matthew 26:39
Step 12:
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. – 2 Corinthians 5:17
And he did not permit him but said to him, “Go home to your friends and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.” – Mark 5:19
…teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age. – Matthew 28:20
Christian Counseling Can Help You Recover from Addiction
If you are struggling with an addiction, Christian counseling can provide a safe space in which to be honest with yourself and to find helpful advice and support as you seek to overcome the addiction. To find out more about how Christian counseling can help you to overcome addiction, please make contact here with one of our trained Christian counselors.
Miller, J. Keith. (1991). A Hunger for Healing: The twelve steps as a classic model for Christian spiritual growth. New York, NY. HarperCollins Publishers.
“Where Do I Fit In?” Courtesy of “Francesca Dioni, Flickr CreativeCommons (CC BY 2.0); “Fitting In,” courtesy of Stuart Vivier, Unsplash.com CC0 Public Domain License