Dramatic People: Signs of Histrionic Drama

When we think of people being dramatic – or in this case, overly dramatic – we think of them making much of their appearance before others. They enjoy feeling and displaying emotions. They have a taste for tension-filled scenes. They want others to know how they are interpreting a situation and how it is affecting them. The only thing that matters, or so it seems, is what is happening now. Dares, tantrums, and ultimatums reign. Life becomes operatic.

Certain situations can magnify these inclinations. So can certain stages of life. Young people have what Erik Erikson called gangling minds and bodies. They have not worked out the countless behavioral strategies they will need for successful social functioning.

Physical and emotional challenges sometimes overwhelm them. They commonly occupy low social positions that make them victims of much that happens. They face many issues and challenges for the first time.

Add to this the fact that some adults expect – and even want – their charges to act in a way that is “childish.” In the face of immature displays, those adults can discipline and control them. And we should not forget the other side of it – that dramatic behavior may help the misbehavers get what they want. Commotion produces results, at least sometimes.

Drama with peers is not so different. As Erikson famously explained, people in their early teens are overly concerned about their standing in social circles. In addition to dealing with many other things that people expect of them at this more independent life-stage, young adults are preoccupied with issues of “identity.”

Who am I? How do I fit in with others like me? What do these people (really) think of me? So young adults tend to check in with one another continually. What are you wearing to school tomorrow? Are you going to that game or party Saturday? Did you see what so-and-so posted last night?

At this young adult stage, bonding with some people and separating from others is key. Most of us can remember seventh and eighth grade as a constant shifting of short-term relationships and romantic crushes. Friendships can dissolve quickly.

Staying true to someone the rest of the gang disrespects is difficult indeed. Cliques are commonplace. At the center of this instability is the desire to belong and, more than that, to hold a worthy position in those groups of choice.

How do peers manage each other? Remember the mechanisms. There is teasing and ridiculing, of course. Worse, there is shaming, embarrassing someone before others. People may denounce each other (in my day called “telling them off”). Further, there is the threat of being ignored or shunned, perhaps not hearing about information and events the rest of the group already knows.

While few of us care for the “silent treatment,” none of us likes gossip, either. Who likes it when other people talk about them “behind their back”? Also disturbing is the spectacle of some people pairing up or joining small groups in a way that openly displays their allegiance while pointedly excluding us. Most dangerous of all is the prospect of banishment, where one no longer has any standing in the collective. These are all basic human concerns.

Tune in and learn about Histrionic drama people and how to deal with them!