2 Ways to Raise Porn-Free Kids

Part 1 of a 2-Part Porn-Free Kids Series 

Over half of all boys and nearly a third of all girls view pornography before they are teenagers (Covenant Eyes, 2014). Sexual beliefs are still forming at this early age, which makes pornography a powerful kind of sex education. However, I’m not sure it is the kind of sex education you want your child to have.

We can’t shelter our kids forever, so how can we prepare them to live in a pornified culture? In this article, which forms the first in a two-part series, I discuss the first two of four ways in which we can raise porn-free kids.

1)     Be Aware of the Dangers of Porn

If porn use starts young, you will need to start age-appropriate awareness young. Oftentimes this means that you will have to educate yourself on the dangers of pornography and pornography addiction. Here are some websites that can act as helpful teaching tools for you. (Never allow your child to explore these websites alone.)

• Covenant Eyes
• Porn Proof Kids
• Fight the New Drug
• Focus on the Family

Just like an early awareness of pornography, it is also essential to start teaching your child about healthy sexuality and God’s view of sex. This will give your child the awareness to be able to discern between a lie (pornography) and the truth (God’s design). By using discernment and wisdom, your child will be able to start calling porn what it is.

Pornography awareness is a family affair and should be undertaken together. Talking openly about pornography and sexuality will send the message that “sex is okay to talk about” and that “keeping pornography a secret is never a good idea.”

When teaching your children about sex, consider using the God’s Design for Sex book series. This series contains age appropriate tools for educating your family.

2)     Create a Covenant for your Family

A covenant is a contract, agreement, or commitment that a family can make to prevent porn from seeping its deadly roots into your family. A covenant can create a culture of accountability in your home. Setting up a covenant will allow your family to determine things such as:

• how much time is spent on devices,
• how Internet time is spent,
• what Internet sites are acceptable to visit, and
• where devices can be used in your home.

Creating a covenant can be challenging if family members do not agree on the terms of the covenant. Remember to try to be fair, to compromise, and to negotiate. But set limits and stand your ground. Kids need boundaries and limits, but they also need to understand that these rules are grounded in wisdom and love. Model accountability for them and teach them why it matters.

How Can Christian Counseling Help with Porn?

Because we live in a sex-saturated culture it will require intentionality to raise porn-free kids. It is important to seek professional help if you believe that your child has been viewing porn for an extended period. Not all exposure to porn will require counseling, but it is good for children to have a safe place to talk about their experience. An experienced Christian counselor can come alongside you and your child and encourage you to talk about pornography. To find out more about Christian counseling, and to reach out for understanding and compassionate care, feel free to contact me.