Is Repressed Anger Healthy?

The emotion of anger is not wrong in and of itself – it is an attribute of God and a part of His nature, and repressed anger is not something the Bible prescribes. David Powlison, a counselor, author, and lecturer defines anger as: “active displeasure toward something important enough to care about.”

For this reason, anger has been called the “moral emotion” because it makes a statement about what matters – you identify something as wrong, disapprove of it, feel displeasure, and are moved to act on it. The confusion comes in when determining whether that anger is righteous or unrighteous.

Anger is good when we get angry at the same things that God does, and express it in a godly way. This includes, for instance, what the Ten Commandments instruct us against – betrayal, lies, hypocrisy, laziness or workaholism, rebellion, murder and abuse, stealing, gossip, adultery, greed, and other evils and injustices.

The selfish, self-indulgent, flesh-related irritations that so often move us to anger are not good, and if we are unable to express our responses in a healthy way, repressed anger can become a pattern of behavior. This is not a healthy response, either.

What is repressed anger?

Repressed anger is the act of bottling up negative feelings and suppressing emotions of anger rather than expressing them. It can stem from childhood, if, for example, parents showed negative responses to displays of feelings.

It can even be a response that is learned over time, particularly if a person becomes conflict-averse and feels that they do not have the freedom to say exactly what they feel, or if they believe that it is important to put on a façade of being in control and calm.

The Psychological Effects of Repressed Anger

Repressed anger is unhealthy as emotions, while pushed down, do not go away. They simmer and accumulate over time, particularly if the object of anger (whether a person or an issue) persists and the angered person is unable to make peace with the situation by themselves. This emotional build-up has been linked to a number of psychological effects, including mood swings, irritability, resentment, and an inability to cope under stress.

If a person struggles with repressed anger, they typically reach a point where they “bubble over” as they just cannot contain their frustration anymore. This explosive reaction can then be hurtful for all parties involved and is the result of trying to act in a way that is unaligned with true feelings.

Suppressing anger over time can also lead to serious mental health consequences, including anxiety and depression. By numbing oneself to what one is feeling and not dealing with it in a healthy way, self-esteem can be negatively affected.

Repressed Anger and the Body

When a person feels anger, there is a physical effect as well as an emotional one. Their heart rate rises and they are propelled toward action – it is part of the body’s defense instincts. When there is repressed anger, this creates a stress response.

If this happens once or twice the body can sustain it, but if it is an ingrained pattern of response, the individual can experience prolonged exposure to high levels of cortisol, which is linked to myriad disruptive effects on the body’s normal processing.

Stress, caused by chronically repressed anger, is associated with a higher risk of heart disease and hypertension, as well as digestive disorders such as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) and related gastrointestinal challenges. If an individual is under a prolonged period of stress their immune system will weaken, making them susceptible to all kinds of illnesses and infections.

Learning How to Release Repressed Anger

Unless someone realizes that they have repressed anger and that it is not a healthy way of living, it is difficult for any change to take place. Even if they do realize it, it might have become so ingrained into their mode of navigating relationships and life situations that it can be difficult to change. However, together with a trained Christian counselor, it is possible to walk the journey toward freedom from bottled-up emotions.

If you are struggling in this way or have a friend or family member who could benefit from working on repressed anger, it is a good idea to connect with a counselor. A counselor will use several methods to help clients understand why they are feeling the way they do, and why they respond in a certain way. They could help unravel what is at play by confronting topics like:

• When does your anger occur?
• What are you desiring, that you are not getting?
• Why does it matter so much to you?
• How are you responding to the pressures you face?
• What are you living for, in reality, and not just in theory?
• What parts of Scripture are especially relevant to your situation?
• Why do you feel that you need to repress your anger?
• How does God call you to respond?
• How could your life change if you were to respond in a godly way?

Dealing with repressed anger (the response) is as important as the cause of the anger itself. While we might feel that we have a right to feel righteous anger, more often than not it is our sin and pride that is leading us to believe that we are in the right while the other person is in the wrong.

We need to learn to bring every situation before God and ask Him to shed light and clarity on the matter. If we humbly open our hearts to the prompting of the Holy Spirit, He will not fail to give us a clear picture. It usually leads to us repenting of our sinful anger and starting a process of forgiveness.

God can also give us the courage we need to share what is bothering us in a godly way so that the feelings aren’t lurking beneath the surface, which also leads to resentment.

Bible Verses to Help With Repressed Anger

The Bible has a lot to say about anger, and how we deal with it. Here are just three verses to reflect on when struggling with repressed anger:

In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. – Ephesians 4:26-27 

This verse points to anger being resolved and dissolved in a person’s heart before the day is over. Even if you have repressed anger, and have not expressed your anger, it is still present, and therefore it is giving the devil a foothold.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. – James 1:19-20

This is one of the key verses the Bible gives on how we need to relate to anger – we need to be careful to not let it take its grip on us. Being slow to speak is different from repressed anger, which is simply holding back on words while still seething internally.

Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city. – Galatians 16:32

Patience and self-control are critical biblical values, but they are different from repressed anger. While there is something to be said for holding back and not speaking when you are angry, this verse means that there is much “heart work” going on in the person who truly desires the qualities and is not simply too conflict-averse to express themselves.

God has given us everything we need in His Word to overcome our anger issues. He has also given us the Holy Spirit, our helper, who we can appeal to, to help when our repressed anger feels too difficult to get rid of. All we need to do is ask.

If this article has helped you see a need for additional help with handling anger in a godly way, the Christian therapists at our location can help. Call our office today.