What causes love addiction? For most, love addiction is caused by a lack of important needs being met during childhood such as physical safety needs or emotional needs like nurture and expression of love. The happens for many reasons ranging from personality differences between child and caretaker, to absent caretakers because of things like long work hours, illness, or divorce. Failure to have these fundamental needs met in childhood affects self-worth, often causing fear of abandonment and either a strong apprehension or need for closeness with others.
Love addiction affects people differently. For some, this means a series of short, sometimes toxic relationships or one-night stands. For others, their fear of abandonment might cause them to continue in harmful, codependent relationships.
Am I a Love Addict?
If you struggle with an overwhelming desire for emotional connection, fear of rejection, often find yourself looking to sex as a way of feeling whole or valued, or hold onto relationships that are unhealthy for fear of being alone, then you might have love addiction. One of the sad ironies of love addiction is that many pass up chances at having great relationships because they either fear real commitment, damage relationships with infidelity, or stay in relationships that aren’t really fulfilling.
You might suffer from love addiction if:
- You become obsessive over finding love, or over an individual.
- You have difficulty thinking about anything but love or sexual fantasies.
- You equate love and relationships with your self-worth.
- Being in a relationship dominates your time over friends and family.
- Your relationships often lack real intimacy and you are often jealous.
- You become codependent easily.
- You or your partner (or both) use love as a form of control.
- You confuse sexually intense experiences with love.
