What Are the Different Attachment Types and Why Do They Matter?

Attachment Theory

In this modern age of pop psychology, many people are starting to hear about attachment theory. Some may even be able to tell you their exact attachment style. If you’re new to the idea of attachment theory, you may be curious about exactly what it is and what purpose it serves.

John Bowlby, a psychologist from the mid-twentieth century, founded the idea of Attachment Theory. In the 1950s, he described attachment behavior as behavior whereby an individual attains or maintains a connection to another clearly identified individual seen as better able to cope with the world (Bowlby, 1982).

Another psychologist, Mary Ainsworth, later tested his theory of connection with infants ranging from 9-30 months in age to see how they would react to short periods of separation from their caregivers (Ainsworth, 1978). Her findings, and the findings of later studies, informed the types of attachment styles and how these styles impact both children and adults.

Types of Attachment Style

“Attachment styles comprise cognitions relating to both the self (‘Am I worthy of love’) and others (‘Can I depend on others during times of stress’)” (Huang, 2026). Attachments begin in infancy. God designed us this way.

Consider the beginning of Scripture where God says, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Gen. 2:18, ESV BibleGateway.com). God’s original plan was to have a right relationship with Him and with others, just as He is in relationship with Himself as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Unfortunately, due to sin entering the world, our relationships with others are not perfect. Because of this, while secure attachments do exist, there are three types of attachment styles that are insecure: anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, and disorganized, otherwise known as fearful-avoidant. The following excerpt from Simply Psychology has a breakdown of each:

Secure Attachment: Securely attached individuals are comfortable with intimacy and can balance dependence and independence in relationships.

Preoccupied Attachment (Anxious in Children): Individuals with this attachment style crave intimacy and can be overly dependent and demanding in relationships.

Dismissive Attachment (Avoidant in Children): This style is characterized by a strong sense of self-sufficiency, often to the point of appearing detached. Individuals with dismissive attachment value their independence highly and may seem uninterested in close relationships.

Fearful Attachment (Disorganized in Children): Individuals with a fearful attachment style desire close relationships and fear vulnerability. They may behave unpredictably in relationships due to their internal conflict between a desire for intimacy and fear of it (Huang, 2026).

A further breakdown of the behaviors that help identify each attachment style is as follows:

Secure

• Healthy communication and management of conflict
• Healthy view of self, others, and God
• Regulated emotions
• Ability to trust and connect with self, others, and God
• Feeling comfortable alone
• Being emotionally available for others

Anxious-Preoccupied

• Feeling unworthy of connection
• Highly sensitive to criticism
• Uncomfortable with being alone
• Low self-esteem
• Difficulty with trusting self, others, or God
• Feelings of jealousy
• Fearing rejection or abandonment

Dismissive-Avoidant

• Strong sense of independence
• Easily dismiss others
• Difficulty with trusting others or God
• Avoiding emotional or physical intimacy
• Having issues with commitment

Fearful-Avoidant

• Having difficulty trusting self, others, and God
• Struggling to regulate emotions
• Showing signs of both anxious and avoidant attachment styles
• Fearing rejection
• Showing signs of confusing and contradictory behaviors (Cleveland Clinic, 2026).

Examples of Each Attachment in the Bible

Secure

Ruth, who followed Naomi after the death of her husband and entrusted herself to Naomi and to God.

“Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God” – Ruth 1:16, ESV

John, the beloved disciple of Jesus, to whom Jesus entrusted his mother.

When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, ‘Woman, behold your son!’ Then he said to the disciple, ‘Behold your mother!’ And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home. – John 19:26-27, ESV

Anxious-Preoccupied

King David, who openly expresses throughout the Psalms his fear and anxiety of being abandoned by God.

“O Lord, rebuke me not in your anger, nor discipline me in your wrath! For your arrows have sunk into me, and your hand has come down on me…O Lord, all my longing is before you; my sighing is not hidden from you. My heart throbs; my strength fails me, and the light of my eyes – it also has gone from me…Do not forsake me, O Lord! O my God, be not far from me! Make haste to help me, O Lord, my salvation!” – Psalm 38:1-2, 9-10, 21-22, ESV

Dismissive-Avoidant

Jonah, who, at God’s call to witness to the Ninevites, fled the complete opposite direction.

Now the word of the Lord came to Jonah the son of Amittai, saying, ‘Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and call out against it, for their evil has come up before me.’ But Jonah rose to flee to Tarshish from the presence of the Lord. He went down to Joppa and found a ship going to Tarshish. So he paid the fare and went down into it, to go with them to Tarshish, away from the presence of the Lord. – Jonah 1:1-3, ESV

Fearful-Avoidant

The nation of Israel after God saved them from the Egyptians, led them with pillars of cloud and fire, gave them water in the desert, and fed them manna from heaven.

Now when all the people saw the thunder and the flashes of lightning and the sound of the trumpet and the mountain smoking, the people were afraid and trembled, and they stood far off and said to Moses, ‘You speak to us, and we will listen; but do not let God speak to us, lest we die.’ – Exodus 20:18-19, ESV

While these are exemplary models of specific attachments, I do not mean to suggest that these people can be universally typed according to Attachment Theory. Rather, these examples model known attachment behaviors and are thus useful for informing this article.

What is Earned Secure Attachment?

If you have read through and identified with any of the insecure attachment behaviors, the good news is that your attachment is not set in stone. Whether you had a difficult childhood that has led to trust issues, fear, and anxiety, or whether adult relationships have damaged your sense of self and trust in God and others, healing is possible.

Through therapy, forming healthy relationships, prayer, and practicing gentle self-reflection, you can build an earned secure attachment style.

But what exactly does “earned secure” mean, and what does it look like? A person with an earned secure attachment has “achieved a secure relationship with their own story. They can discuss their past clearly, acknowledge its impact on them, and hold their early caregivers with a mixture of realism and compassion – without being overwhelmed by grief, dismissive of the experience, or incoherent when describing it. (Simply Psychology, 2026).

EMDR, Lifespan Integration, Internal Family Systems (IFS), or other attachment-based therapies have proven effective in healing attachment wounds and moving clients toward forming stronger, healthier relationships with self, God, and others.

If you’ve found this article helpful in identifying an insecure attachment in yourself, it is never too late to take the first steps toward transforming how you view yourself, others, and even how you view God. God wants you to live life to the full. Therapy can help you get started.