4 Unique Characteristics of Christian Counseling for Couples

Do You Need Christian Couples Counseling?

Many couples have found themselves in need of outside perspective in order to cope with a wearisome issue in their marriage. The search for the right counselor can be confusing and frustrating – especially for Christian couples who want the benefit of competent, well-trained, experienced counselors and also want to have a biblical perspective incorporated in their counseling work. The choice between traditional and Christian counseling is an important one to consider. If you’re seeking Christian Counseling; how can you be sure that what you are getting is, in fact, Christian Counseling?

Christian Couples Counseling: Toward A Definition

What makes a couple’s counselor a “Christian counselor”? What makes couples therapy “Christian?” Is it Christian Counseling if the counselor professes to be a Christian? Is it Christian Counseling if the counselor is a pastor? Can a counselor trained in traditional psychology do Christian Counseling? Does the counselor have to be a Christian in order to practice Christian Counseling?

A group of researchers recently published an article in the Journal of Psychology and Christianity. They offer a definition that can be used as a framework to inform your search for the right Christian Counselor.  According to the authors of the study, there are four Characteristics that many Christian Counselors exhibit in their approach to working with couples. These characteristics are part of what makes their approach to counseling uniquely Christian.

Covenant vs. Contract

Christian Couples Counselors will usually view marriage as a covenant whereas many secular or traditional counselors are likely to view marriage as a contract. The view of marriage as a covenant means that the counseling work will be focused on life-long commitment, self-sacrifice, and vow-taking. The couple is the primary focus of the counseling work. The view of marriage as a contract will most likely engage marital conflict like a negotiation to between two individual parties. Each individual will be a distinct focus of the work in counseling.

God as the Source of Power for Change

Christian Couples Counselors will likely hold the belief that the power for change in the relationship comes primarily from the couple’s relationship with Jesus. Denominational considerations aside, Christian Counselors will often rely in some way on the presence and work of the Holy Spirit during the session. This will often be accomplished through prayer and through the reading and the application of scripture during the counseling process. In contrast, a more traditional or secular counselor might hold the belief that the power for change comes from a particular counseling technique or conceivably from within the individual or couple themselves.

An Understanding of Sin and Forgiveness

Christian Couples Counselors will likely hold the view that many of the problems couples are bringing into the counseling context are caused primarily by sin. When sin shows up in the relationship, the result is always going to be increased conflict and emotional pain. The counseling process will, at least in part, be focused on the process of seeking forgiveness and extending forgiveness within the couple’s relationship as well as seeking and receiving forgiveness from God. Traditional approaches to counseling are also very likely to include work on forgiveness for wrongs committed but they are very unlikely to discuss the dynamics of sin and the forgiveness of God within the relationship.

Growing Spiritually to Grow Personally

Christian Couples Counselors will commonly consider spiritual growth to be very closely linked with personal growth. In other words, Christian Counselors are likely to include counseling techniques that address spirituality and the spiritual needs of the couple in the counseling process. Christian Counselors will view spiritual growth as one of the pieces of evidence that the counseling work has been effective. Their focus will likely be on the whole person – physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. Many secular counselors will use effective techniques that address the physical, emotional and mental aspects of a person and very few will consider the spiritual component unless their client specifically requests it.

Finding the Right Christian Counselor

As you can see, there are some important characteristics and techniques that are unique to Christian Couples Counseling. While this isn’t the only framework or definition of Christian Couples Counseling, it can be a helpful place to start. If you are looking for a good counselor who can incorporate a solid, biblical worldview into your counseling work, you can use these characteristics as a guide in selecting the counselor you will eventually work with. When you find the right counselor, you will be happy you’ve invested the time to do your research and ask the right questions.

With the help of a Christian marriage counselor, you and your spouse can begin to begin to find the solutions you are seeking. Christian marriage counseling can help re-open lines of communication and provide new skills to deal with difficult problems. If you and your spouse wish to explore together the Christian Counseling process, please do not hesitate to contact me at Seattle Christian Counseling. I would be delighted to partner with you and your spouse as you enter this challenging and important healing process.