5 Implications of a Committed Romantic Relationship

Change isn’t always easy. People are creatures of habit, and we seldom want to change things about ourselves with which we are comfortable. Most of us have our favorite comfortable slippers, favorite apps, cherished hangout spots, people we like to hang out with, food that we like to order at our favorite restaurant, and set patterns of life. It’s often a huge task to change these or relinquish them entirely.

A romantic relationship, whether you’re dating or you’re way further down the line, often involves a change in how you do things. Many of these changes are welcome, but others will take some getting used to. If you’re interested in getting into a committed romantic relationship, or if you’re in one already, it’s good to be aware of the changes implied by your commitment. Below are some implications of being in a committed relationship.

Implications of a romantic relationship.

Some of the changes implied by a committed romantic relationship include the following:

You’re no longer autonomous.

When you’re single, there’s a real sense in which your life is your own. Of course, you have other people in your life who make claims on your time and energy, like your friends, family, and colleagues. However, a romantic relationship rachets that up a notch because that relationship is different from all others in your life.

When you’re in a committed romantic relationship, your time is no longer exclusively your own, your body is no longer your own (once you are married), and your space is no longer your own. These things have to be negotiated now in ways they aren’t in other relationships.

Before, you probably could just go out with friends and come back home at whatever time suited you. When you’re in a committed relationship, there’s a person who at the least needs to be made aware of your movements.

Another example is that when you’re living with your spouse, the space is jointly yours. You can’t just leave dirty laundry lying around, nor can you make changes to your shared spaces without some form of consultation. You are sharing your life with another person, and they are now firmly part of the decision-making process in the things that concern you.

You are accountable.

Closely connected to the idea that you’re no longer autonomous is that when you’re in a committed romantic relationship, you’re accountable to someone. You have to account for your time, how you spend money, who you’re with, and the affections you share with others. Your choices significantly affect another person, and that person has a voice in what happens in the relationship.

A romantic relationship doesn’t mean that you cease to be an independent being; in fact, having healthy boundaries is essential for a relationship to function. However, accountability means that someone holds you to your word and they have permission to challenge you and the decisions you make. It can be difficult to talk through and justify your choices with another person when you do not have the final say in everything.

Accountability is a good thing, as it can help you make better decisions as you have to think through your actions and their implications. However, just because it’s a good thing doesn’t mean accountability is an easy pill to swallow.

You are transparent.

It’s often easier to keep your feelings and thoughts to yourself and keep your motivations opaque. When you commit to someone, part of what that means is committing to be open with them. That means moving past the games that often occur in the early part of dating someone, and it also means not engaging in or hiding any shady behavior.

To be sure, transparency and honesty ought to mark one’s everyday existence, but it’s all the more important when you’re in a relationship with someone. Being transparent doesn’t mean you say everything you think, but it does mean being open about yourself. Yes, there are such things as boundaries in a relationship but don’t use the language of boundaries to cover unfaithfulness or any other kind of dishonesty with your significant other.

You are vulnerable.

Connected to being transparent is the fact of being vulnerable. A healthy relationship requires give and take, sharing your hopes and dreams, as well as your fears and expectations.

Men often don’t want to show weakness around others, especially the woman they’re in a relationship with. To be fair, some women weaponize men’s vulnerability and use it against them later on, like when there’s an argument or conflict in the relationship. The possibility of getting hurt or of your vulnerability being used against you shouldn’t undermine the fact that vulnerability is necessary for a healthy relationship.

Apart from showing your weaknesses, vulnerability also includes making your true feelings known. Instead of “playing it cool” and posturing to gain an advantage, a relationship is a space to be open with what you want and where you’re at.

Own your desires and intentions. This is something that ought to happen even before you enter the relationship, but it must form part of the relationship once you’ve given some sort of commitment to one another. The book of the Bible titled “The Song of Songs” helpfully portrays what it could look like for a couple to be open with each other about how they feel and where they’re at.

You are available and present.

Being with someone means giving them your full attention. It’s possible to be present physically while your heart and mind are elsewhere. Being present indicates to the other person that you care for them, and that they are your priority.

When you’re with your boys, be with them; enjoy the moment, revel in the jokes, and enjoy the fellowship. When you’re with your girl, be with her. Listen to her, exercise empathy, and be in the moment.

Availability also means being emotionally available. For a variety of reasons, people can be in a relationship but not fully give themselves to it. Perhaps it’s due to trust issues, or perhaps there’s a fear that they may be abandoned, and they don’t want to fall too deep. Being available and present means that you can commit to the relationship so that it can unfold to its fullest potential because you’re not holding yourself back.

There’s always a need for wisdom and for not getting ahead of where the relationship is. If you’re not yet at the stage of moving toward marriage, then you’re not there. But if your relationship has deepened and wisdom indicates that you make a deeper commitment, then you shouldn’t hold back or prevent the relationship from blossoming.

Another facet of being present is supporting your partner’s dreams. A healthy relationship requires give and take, standing in the gap for one another, and being a cheerleader for your partner. Just as you need support for your dreams and goals, and you need a sympathetic ear, you can do and be those things for your significant other.

Next steps.

Being in a committed romantic relationship brings many changes with it. Many of these changes are welcome, but others may be challenging in various ways. Accountability can sometimes introduce conflict into the relationship, or there may be difficulty in being vulnerable or committing fully to one another. There is room for growth in your relationship, but it requires commitment.

One way to cultivate healthy growth in a relationship is to seek help in the form of professional couples counseling. A counselor can help you develop your ability to express your emotions constructively, and they can work with you to develop conflict resolution skills. Additionally, if you struggle with being emotionally vulnerable, your counselor can journey with you toward greater openness.

Reach out to a couples counselor to get the most out of your relationship, and to become the person you want to be in that relationship.