Dr. Gary Bell
It’s normal for us to need time to ruminate and go over a romantic break-up in minute detail when we feel like we were the one who was dumped. Break-ups can qualify as traumatic events and telling and re-telling the break-up story is a relatively normal reaction if it was traumatic for you.
However, if you’re telling the same story two or three months after the break-up to the same friends; feeling that you’re more “depressed” than “just sad;” experiencing emotional pain that is keeping you from engaging in your normal routine, it’s likely going to qualify as “too long.”
Unfortunately, there’s not a magic number for how many weeks or months it takes to get over a bad break-up, but if you find your thoughts are getting in the way of you moving forward and your friends are tired of hearing you complain, then those are two signs it’s time to get yourself together and move forward. Tune in and learn how to overcome a broken heart!
When it’s been more than a couple of months, and you’re still stuck in an emotional holding pattern, you may need to consider seeking professional help. When your depression or grief weighs you down so heavily that you cannot get back into the ebb and flow of social connections and forward momentum after more than a month or so – in the workplace, with friends, or with family, you may want to seek professional care.
The surest cure for inertia is to start moving again – and whether you start slow with a daily walk through your neighborhood or join a gym or take up a new sport, there are a lot of opportunities to get to meet new people and begin focusing on building new relationships. This can get your brain out of the pain when you allow negative thoughts to drive your behavior.
“Copper Lock”, Courtesy of Bogdan Cotos, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Sand Heart Under Water”, Courtesy of Dave Webb, Unsplash.com, CC0 License
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