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Staying Married After Having Children

Seattle Christian Counseling
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6827 Oswego Place NE, Suite B
SEATTLE, WA 98115
United States
6827 Oswego Place NE, Suite B
SEATTLE, WA 98115
United States
Photo of Dr. Gary Bell

Dr. Gary Bell

Dec
2019
06

Staying Married After Having Children

Dr. Gary Bell

Couples CounselingFamily CounselingMarriage CounselingRelationship Issues

Far too often, it seems to me, men and women choose to have kids for the wrong reasons: basically, to fill themselves up and make themselves feel loved.

PODCAST - Staying Married After Having Children 1And that right there is one of my most cringe-inducing, nostrils-flaring pet peeves. Children deserve to be born into situations where the parents are emotionally balanced and want children for the right reasons – to give them love and stability and to help them to flourish.

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If you are in a relationship and are contemplating having children, ask yourself why you want to have kids. Having children to keep up with the Joneses, or simply because you’ve always wanted to have them are not good enough reasons. Talk with your partner and ask him or her the same thing.

In my private practice, I see many adults who come in for therapy because they didn’t get the love, support, and attention they needed from their parents when they were growing up. When children don’t get what they need from their parents, it’s usually because their parents weren’t ready or didn’t have children for the right reasons in the first place.

PODCAST - Staying Married After Having ChildrenThe whole messed-up cycle usually starts with social pressure to fit in and to be like those around you. We all know that people often get married because that’s just what everyone does. (Enter divorce, stage right.) Unfortunately, people also have kids for similarly unhealthy reasons.

Too many childless men and women fall victim to the social pressures that everyone is supposed to have kids to be happy and whole, and end up having kids themselves. Later, they find that having kids in the home is a huge responsibility, and they don’t prioritize their children.

Tune in and learn about how having children impacts a marriage and how to navigate those difficult waters!

Photos:
“Newborn”, Courtesy of Smpratt90, Pixabay.com, CC0 License; “Embrace,” courtesy of Eye for Ebony, unsplash.com, CC0 License

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE

The information, including but not limited to, text, graphics, images and other material contained on this article are for informational purposes only. No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Please contact one of our counselors for further information.

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Dr. Gary Bell

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
(206) 965-9991 garyb@seattlechristiancounseling.com

People are my calling. My job is to help people like you heal their lives, relationships, and families. With over two decades of experience helping tens of thousands of individuals, couples, and families, I offer empathy, a listening ear, and a healthy dose of wisdom. I am straightforward and often use humor in my practice. I believe it’s so important to be relaxed in this work. I work quickly and don’t waste time getting down to the business of healing people of all ages, backgrounds, genders, relationships, and cultures. Read more articles by Dr. Gary »

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About Dr. Gary

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Dr. Gary Bell, Ed.D, LMFT

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

People are my calling. My job is to help people like you heal their lives, relationships, and families. With over two decades of experience helping tens of thousands of individuals, couples, and families, I offer empathy, a listening ear, and a healthy dose of wisdom. I am straightforward and often use humor in my practice. I believe it’s so important to be relaxed in this work. I work quickly and don’t waste time getting down to the business of healing people of all ages, backgrounds, genders, relationships, and cultures. View Dr. Gary's Profile

Recent articles by Dr. Gary

  • Jun 30 · Resentment in Relationships: The Endless Cost
  • Jul 1 · Restarting Your Life
  • Jun 23 · Sex in Marriage: Keeping and Maintaining Intimacy
See all articles by Dr. Gary »

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