Practical Deep-Breathing Techniques: Suggestions from a Christian Counselor

Today I watched as my little girl, who was getting frustrated with a malfunctioning toy, took a deep breath, and calmed herself own instead of screaming and throwing her toy across the room – which she has done many, many times before. My husband and I have been working with her on this deep-breathing technique for a few weeks, and it was rewarding to see the fruit of our efforts.

What IS It About Simply Taking a Deep Breath?

This got me thinking: What is it about deep breathing? What happens in the few moments it takes to tell oneself, “breathe,” instead of yelling, cussing, throwing something across the room, or releasing a torrent of berating messages, such as “Why can’t I do this?!” or “Why am I such an idiot?”

Those few moments offer just enough space to change the course of action – to move away from a mindless reaction and redirect one’s energy into a thoughtful, intentional, self-compassionate act.

Being Present to a Moment

I utilize deep breathing and guided imagery exercises in my sessions with clients, and I have seen transformation occur as a result of simply taking a few moments to breathe and “check in” with one’s intention. This activity often leads into a time of prayer – into connection with an Other Who reminds us there is more than our present state of being.

We can stop the crazy train of our thoughts long enough to ponder some deeper meaning or purpose for our day. As we learn to inhabit more fully our moments, we develop healthy habits that open up potential to reach the goals we have for our day, our week, and eventually our lives.

If we do not reel in our thoughts gone awry, we develop habits that work against us – habits of mindlessness rather than mindfulness. As we confront the uselessness of those negative, habitual, reactive thoughts, we can bring to awareness the hopes, dreams, fears, and questions we carry deep within us – simply by being present to a moment.

Changing Perspective

Let me give an example from my own life. I have a strong, healthy, 20-pound baby girl with whom I spend every day – carrying her to and from places, often while she is asleep in her car seat. A common complaint I find within myself is: “My shoulders are tight. Must be from carrying that car seat all over the place. I really hate that thing!” Redirect – breathe in and out. Change of perspective:  “I am grateful for strong arms with which I can carry my healthy daughter.”

A Deep-Breathing Exercise

Wouldn’t it be beneficial if we incorporated some form of deep breathing into our daily lives? Let me give you an example. Try this exercise either at the beginning or at the end of every day for a week – it is better if you can do it at both times of the day – and see if you notice any differences in your energy, your perspective, your attitude, or your general sense of well-being.

• Sit down in a comfortable place, with your feet on the floor and your body supported by a comfortable chair or couch, your hands in a comfortable position.
• Orient yourself to how your body feels at that moment – as your feet are supported by the firm floor, as your body sinks into the cushion or chair.
• Breathe regularly and simply pay attention to how your breath feels – as it enters and leaves your nostrils (this may seem silly but press on and focus solely on your breathing in that moment).
• Now, deepen your breathing by letting your breath fill your core (stomach area, diaphragm) rather than simply your chest. Feel your stomach rise on the inhale and fall on the exhale.
• Notice any tension in your body and breathe into those areas.
• Next, try to deepen your breaths even more – by filling that inner space completely and exhaling completely. After each exhale, pause. Do five rounds of deep breathing.
• Check in again with your body and with those areas of tension. Do you feel more relaxed? If not, repeat the exercise.
• Are you noticeably more relaxed, more peaceful, more positive?

The purpose of this exercise is not to place yourself and your emotions at the center of your life. Its purpose is rather to hone in on areas of anxiety, stress, fear, sadness, regret, bitterness, resentment, hopes, questions, and long-held dreams – any areas that are calling for your attention. As you start at a place of grace and acceptance of what is, you can surrender to what more there is for you.

A Christian Counselor Can Help You Live More Authentically

If this feels overwhelming and/or confusing, consider calling a Christian counselor. Within your sessions, you can learn some practical exercises to do at home, or whenever you feel overwhelmed or stressed. Start living with the authenticity you want in your life.

Photos
“A Butterly in the Hand,” by betta5, freeimages.com, mage ID: 1318510; “Little Girls Running in the Field,” by kentmurray, freeimages.com, Image ID: 1164640