Raising Kids in a Sex-Saturated Culture: A Christian Counselor’s Six Steps, Part 1

Part 1 of a 2-Part Raising Kids in a Sex-Saturated Culture Series

There is no question that we live in a culture that is saturated with sexuality. From the media to technology to the grocery store, we are bombarded with sexualized imagery on a daily basis. What impact have the images and messages of our sexualized culture had on you and on your children? As a parent – and in particular as a Christian parent – how are you dealing with the unique challenges that this creates? How can we train our children to rightly understand and guard their own sexual purity when it feels as if so many forces are working against us from so many angles? For me, this feels disheartening and even discouraging at times.

God has Chosen You to Teach Your Child about Sexuality

Sometimes the topic of sex can almost stop a conversation with our kids in its tracks. It can feel terrifying and awkward to talk about pornography, masturbation, and sexuality with our kids. But the truth is that you are the person whom God has chosen to teach and train your children about the vital importance of sexual purity. If you do not fill that role, someone less qualified will fill it for you. You have an irreplaceable mission in your children’s lives to impart sexual purity.

Based on my own experiences, and based on some of the resources I’ve read from organizations such as PureHope, Covenant Eyes, and Focus on the Family, I have compiled what I call The Six Cs. These provide a broad framework for how to think about teaching your own kids about sexual purity in a sexualized culture. This article is the first in a two-part series that describes this framework.

Be Courageous

Instilling a biblical view of sexual purity into the lives of our kids is not for the faint of heart. Talking to my kids about sex almost always requires me to push through at least some amount of fear or discomfort. It’s not easy and we have to be assertive and direct if we are going to instill a biblical view of sexuality. Taking the lead in conversations about sexuality requires courage. Confronting behavior that is not in line with our boundaries requires courage. Voicing our concerns requires courage. But these situations offer us an opportunity to model what it looks like to courageously wade into uncomfortable topics.

Be Conscious

We need to stay engaged and pay attention. Make it a goal to become an expert on your kids’ technological world. We have to stay in touch with what our kids are up to. In spite of what some of your precious offspring will tell you, it is your business. Know about their devices: How do they work? What can they access? Know about their texting and social media activity. Who are their “friends?” Who are they following? With whom are they interacting? Learn about Internet filters and educate yourself on the tracking and monitoring software products available on the market. Learn about password protecting devises and parental controls. This kind of knowledge does not happen by accident. You need to be proactive and make a daily decision to stay engaged.

Be Casual

You don’t necessarily have to make a big formality out of all of your family’s conversations about sexual topics. Be creative and find ways to incorporate the lessons you teach your kids into the rhythm of your daily lives. Make the topic of biblical sexuality part of your family’s culture.

The onus is on you to educate yourself and to know the heart of the message you want to pass on to your kids. Be on the lookout for opportunities to teach them during everyday life. Listen to their conversations with each other. Listen to their conversations with friends. Make mental notes and create opportunities to discuss God’s truth with them. Lessons about God’s design for sex and how to handle temptation can be woven into the fabric of our life. The more casual and comfortable these conversations can become, the less taboo they will feel for everyone.

Now you know the first three Cs of imparting sexual purity. Be courageous, be conscious, and be casual. In the second part of this series, I outline the next three categories: Be Clear, be Compelling, and be Consistent.

What’s Next in Your Parenting Task?

Are you up against some parenting difficulties in your home? Are you at a loss about how to navigate the stormy waters of parenting young children or adolescents? Do you feel like you need some outside perspective on your relationships with your children? Are you dealing with problematic behaviors or increased conflict?

It’s never too late to begin making changes and parenting in a healthier, more proactive way. A father has an irreplaceable role in the life of his family – and particularly in the lives of his sons. That is true no matter his age or the age of his sons.

A Christian Counselor Can Help You Talk to Your Child about Sex

Seattle Christian Counseling has a number of experienced, trained, and caring counselors who know how help parents and families deal with difficult issues, especially if you are looking for a counselor who can incorporate a biblical worldview into their approach to treatment. We have several locations throughout the Puget Sound region and a wide range of hours available to meet your schedule.

With the help of a Christian counselor who understands family and parenting concerns, you can begin to find the solutions you are seeking. Christian counseling can help you learn how to re-open lines of communication, rebuild trust, and provide new skills to deal with difficult problems. If you and your family wish to explore together the Christian Counseling process, please do not hesitate to contact us at Seattle Christian Counseling. I would be delighted to partner with you as you enter this challenging and important healing process.

 

Photos
Images from Unsplash.com: “Book reading in a new way,” courtesy of James Tarbottom (CC0 1.0); “Sitting by the River,” courtesy of Emin Celikovic (CC0 1.0)