Raising Kids in a Sex-Saturated Culture: A Christian Counselor’s Six Steps, Part 2

Part 2 of a 2-Part Raising Kids in a Sex-Saturated Culture Series

In my previous article, I explained the first three ways in which we can raise sexually pure kids in a sexually saturated culture. We must be courageous, we must be conscious, and we must be clear. There is no question that we live in a culture that is saturated with sexuality. The question we face is: How can we train our children to rightly understand and guard their own sexual purity when it feels as if so many forces are working against us from so many angles?

God has Chosen You to Teach Your Child about Sexuality

Sometimes it can feel terrifying and awkward to talk about topics such as pornography, masturbation, and sexuality with our kids. But the truth is that you are the person whom God has chosen to teach and train your children about the vital importance of sexual purity. If you do not fill that role, someone less qualified will fill it for you. You have an irreplaceable mission in your children’s lives to impart sexual purity.

Based on my own experiences, and based on some of the resources I’ve read from organizations such as PureHope, Covenant Eyes, and Focus on the Family, I have compiled what I call The Six Cs. These provide a broad framework for how to think about teaching your own kids about sexual purity in a sexualized culture. In this article, I explain the final three Cs: We must be clear, compelling, and consistent.

Be Clear

Be clear about how God has designed us—as men and as women—to be sexual beings. Don’t beat around the bush. Come right out and discuss sexuality with all of your kids, regardless of their age (in age-appropriate ways, of course). Be forthright. There is no need to use code words, pet names, or slang to talk about topics such as anatomy, sexual functioning, sexual temptation, or even sexual intercourse. Openness and honesty are your most effective tools in this task.

You can also be clear about what is and what is not acceptable sexual behavior. Make your boundaries very clear to your family. What is important about sexual purity? Is it all about abstinence and virginity? Or is there more to it than stopping short of intercourse? Why is sexual sin so devastating? The answers to all of these questions should come from you. And all of these questions are best answered in clear, direct terms.

Many of us feel that we need to wait until our kids are ready for “the talk.” The problem is that our culture isn’t going to wait until we feel that they are ready. Our culture is educating them—in most instances with lies—right now.

Be Compelling

When we think about the topic of human sexuality and biblical sexual purity, it is easy to forget that we have God’s truth on our side. We have the Creator of the universe backing us in our endeavor to raise godly kids. God’s story of sex is compelling. God’s will is marked by love, meaning, design, and power. The Author and Creator of our sexuality intended it for our good ̶ that is an amazing thought. Remember that sexual purity is about far more than a list of things we have to tell our kids to say “no” to. Sexual purity is a pursuit of something miraculous, mysterious, and wonderful beyond words. Sex is a gift from God and is specifically designed to be used for his glory and for our joy. Our male and female bodies are created beautiful. Sex is beautiful.

Don’t be embarrassed or ashamed to talk about this. God’s story is far better than the one our culture is telling us.

Be Consistent

Howard Hendricks said that when it comes to teaching young people, “more is caught than taught.” When it comes to how you interact with your culture, you have a powerful opportunity to serve as a model for your kids to “catch.” How do you handle your own devices? How do you deal with sexual temptation? What are your own boundaries around the Internet, media, and entertainment? Teaching our kids about sexuality and self-control is far more straightforward if we are living it ourselves. Modeling our own surrender to boundaries will be a powerful teaching tool that will demonstrate far more than our words will ever convey.

What’s Next in Your Parenting Task?

Are you up against some parenting difficulties in your home? Are you at a loss about how to navigate the stormy waters of parenting young children or adolescents? Do you feel like you need some outside perspective on the relationships with your children? Are you dealing with problematic behaviors or increased conflict?

It’s never too late to begin making changes and parenting in a healthier, more proactive way. A father has an irreplaceable role in the life of his family—and particularly in the lives of his sons. That is true no matter what his age or the age of his sons.

A Christian Counselor Can Help You Talk to Your Child about Sex

Seattle Christian Counseling has a number of experienced, trained, and caring counselors who know how to help parents and families deal with difficult issues, especially if you are looking for a counselor who can incorporate a biblical worldview into their approach to treatment. We have several locations throughout the Puget Sound region and a wide range of hours available to meet your schedule.

With the help of a Christian counselor who understands family and parenting concerns, you can begin to find the solutions you are seeking. Christian counseling can help you learn how to re-open lines of communication, rebuild trust, and provide new skills to deal with difficult problems. If you and your family wish to explore together the Christian Counseling process, please do not hesitate to contact us at Seattle Christian Counseling. I would be delighted to partner with you as you enter this challenging and important healing process. To learn more about our services, please click here.

Photos
Provided by Unsplash.com with license (CC0 1.0): Man on Boardwalk, courtesy of Lacey Raper; Using a Computer, courtesy of Rayi Christian W.