Stop Self-Destructive Behavior: Dealing with Depression

Part 4 of a 4-Part Series
In this last article in a four-part series on helpful tips for dealing with depression and stop self-destructive behavior, I discuss the technique called Prevent Destructive Behavior. This is a crucial topic in dealing with depression. Many depressed people find that the smallest thoughts or events can send them into a downward spiral that makes them feel out of control. This article offers hope by showing that there is something you can do to temper the emotions that prompt you to engage in self-destructive behavior.

Planning How to Deal with Depression and Stop Self-Destructive Behavior

Depressed people often report that they can shift from feeling fine one moment to falling apart the next. Moreover, there is a tendency is to make yourself feel even worse by acting impulsively, such as breaking up with a boyfriend who postponed your date, or drinking a bottle of wine when you are disappointed over a small thing. When you are feeling fine, it is important to plan what kind of help you will need, and from whom, when you are in a more distraught frame of mind. Learning how to slow down and stop the rapid slide into depression is crucial, as is learning how to self-soothe and manage negative emotions.

Here are some exercises that can help you to make plans for how to deal with depression.

Activities to Distract You from Depression

When feeling fine, make a list of distractions that you can utilize when you are feeling distressed. Make sure that you write down enjoyable activities, such as listening to music, watching a show, or playing a game. You will need this list because it can be difficult to remember them when you are feeling upset. Store this list somewhere easily accessible and turn to it when you start to feel a downward spiral.

People You Can Turn to when Depressed

Create a list of people who will serve as a lifeline, people you can call when the destructive and downward spiral starts. Next, work with your counselor or trusted other to create a list of soothing, distracting ideas that you can employ in the case that someone on your lifeline is not available.

Journaling when Dealing with Depression

Describing the following points in your journal can be very insightful and empowering. You can follow this plan of journaling with a counselor, a trusted other, or by yourself.

1. What do I feel in my body?
2. Are these sensations familiar?
3. What is the earliest age I remember feeling this way?
4. Can I get a memory of a situation in which I had this feeling or even just an image of myself, like a snapshot, feeling this?
5. Is there any similarity between the two experiences (former and current)?
6. What did others do then?
7. What did I do then?
8. What are others doing now?
9. What do I want to do now?

This plan of journaling serves to integrate feeling and thought, and to strengthen that connection. It helps to lessen the intensity when the feeling arises in the future. Remember that a feeling is just a feeling, and it will pass.

Develop and Practice Compassion

Depressed people are often harsh and inflexible in their judgment of themselves and others. People can get stuck in negative thought patterns as they ruminate on negative experiences. It is necessary to find a way to interrupt this rumination in order to open up a new understanding of oneself and others. Try this exercise:

1. Find a situation in which you feel no compassion. Write or talk about the behavior but not the motivation behind it.
2. See the part of you (or the other person) that is struggling.
3. Address that part with, “Oh dear. You are struggling.”
4. Ask, “What is making this so hard?”
5. Listen to the answer.
6. Say, “You are right. That is hard.” Stop there.
7. What does it feel like to end it there?
8. Spend some time meditating on compassion or praying for compassion.

Christian Counseling for Dealing with Depression

As a Christian counselor, I am convinced that we do not need to be incapacitated by feelings of depression. If you feel stuck in a negative and downward spiral, or find yourself dwelling on negative or self-destructive behavior, please consider calling a Christian counselor. Help and hope are available.