How to Help those Affected by Autism

I am a licensed and trained counselor. I also have nephews and nieces who have Autism and have watched them grow up. Having said that, I want my readers to understand that I am not an ASD expert. Rather as a counselor, I run into clients who are mildly on the spectrum and who struggle with feelings of poor self-worth, not fitting in, depression, and an inability to relate to other humans the way most of us relate.

The primary problem I see is that they don’t understand how others are feeling and or thinking and so they tend to retreat instead of engaging. Sometimes they lash out at others and act out in attempts to be accepted by peers. Regardless of the behaviors they have a condition, a brain disorder makes it difficult for non-neurodivergent people to understand and or cope with them.

Some Christians still identify sin as the cause of disability. Although the Bible does not refer to intellectual disability, still today there are Christians who believe that autism, like other illnesses and disabilities, exists as a punishment for sin. This is poor theological understanding and disagrees with what Jesus said in John 9.

Jesus heals a man born blind

As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth.  His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” ”Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, ”but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. – John 9:1-3

Here is some of what I have found

I have heard of Autistic savants. Those are people with unusual gifts that are also neurodivergent. You cannot have the high end of the spectrum of autism traits that can create geniuses and inventors, like Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, and Thomas Edison, without the other end of the spectrum.

From a Christian perspective, we do not value one life above another due to their abilities. One of the great things about Christian belief is that we are all equal in the sight of God and all people have great value.

Psalms 115:13 declares that the Lord will bless his followers, great and small.

How do we determine if a person is on the autism spectrum?

There is no blood test or clear definitive verification of Autism Spectrum. I suspect that many of the lower levels of autism are frequently misdiagnosed and called ADHD, ODD, or BPD. There are many cross-over points with avoidant personality disorder. It is important that we become clear about the disorder we are facing or else we will not have appropriate treatment. So here is my attempt to discuss some of what I am seeing.

The first years of a child’s life are a time of tremendous physical, cognitive, and social development. While those years are a joyful time for parents, moms and dads must keep an eye out for early symptoms or signs of developmental issues, including autism spectrum disorder, a cluster of disorders that affect brain development and can lead to problems thinking, communicating, and socializing.

One in sixty-eight kids has autism, and that seems to be on the rise. The disorder is roughly five times more likely to affect boys than girls.

It’s called a “spectrum disorder,” which means that it encompasses a handful of related conditions, all of which may present in different ways, with symptoms ranging from mild to severe. (I have borrowed heavily from Juhi Pandey, PhD, a pediatric neuropsychologist, and scientist with the Center for Autism Research at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia.)

What are the symptoms of autism?

Symptoms usually emerge sometime before a child turns three. Symptoms can start as early as twelve months for some children, Some children with autism may not be diagnosed until the second or third grade, Pandey says. “Symptoms occur over time, and they don’t always happen in a doctor’s office,” Parental observation is vital, watching for symptoms and providing information is important.”

Here are twelve signs that parents need to know. Please understand that diagnosing autism is complicated. “We need to see a number of these symptoms to make a diagnosis, not just one,” So don’t jump the gun and declare they are autistic until the Diagnosis is confirmed.

Remember these are children who still need love and care. They are often rejected by peers, siblings, and even parents so it has social problems associated with it.

Age and maturation are important in a diagnosis. What may be a red flag for autism at age three could be considered typical behavior at age one or two. While you should tell your child’s doctor if you notice any of these symptoms, spotting one of them – or even several of them – is not a guarantee that your child has autism.

Most of my clients who have autism have not been diagnosed or have been told they have ADHD. What makes it difficult to tell what we are dealing with is that there is a lot of crossover with an avoidant PD, depression, anxiety, etc. Here is some of what I look for.

Poor eye contact

It is generally a good idea in communication to look someone in the eyes. It helps with our bonding with others and shows we are paying attention to them. However autistic individuals tend not to do this because they don’t understand. Adults dealing with some lower levels of autism will avoid such contact.

I have had several clients who engage easily in therapy but cannot seem to look at me directly. It makes them uncomfortable, and they probably won’t understand facial expressions that indicate mood and feelings. Autism is a disorder that blocks understanding of empathy and in general understanding of feelings and emotions.

Poor eye contact is one of the hallmarks of autism. Young children tend to lock eyes with loved ones and strangers alike. But a child with autism may avoid eye contact – never looking directly at his parent or doing so inconsistently or fleetingly. “Some kids who are severely impacted may make no eye contact at all.” Some children may just be shy, so lack of eye contact is not always indicative of autism. Like the English language, there are always exceptions to the rules.

Flapping hands or repetitive gestures

Repetitive motions or gestures – flapping or spinning hands, flicking fingers, or rocking back and forth – are a red flag, if a child repeats these or similar gestures when worked up or excited, that’s something to note.

Repeating phrases or babble

Many kids babble or repeat themselves, that is part of learning, children with autism may repeat the same phrase over and over again in the exact same way – almost like they’re singing the verse of a song. This is known as scripted language, repeating a phrase or babbling with odd rhythms or in a sing-song voice are also warning signs,

Heightened sensitivity or sensory aversion

Autism can cause a child’s senses to be touchy. A child may enjoy rubbing smooth or soft surfaces, or he may smell everything,

They may not like to be held or cuddled. “Everyday sounds might be really hard for them” – toilet flushes and vacuum cleaners as common irritants. These might hold their hands up to their ears,” A child with autism may also be sensitive to bright light, according to the Mayo Clinic.

Inspecting toys rather than playing with them

Most young kids will inspect a toy before playing with it. But a child with autism may not move past the inspection phase, while a child without autism will race a car along the floor, or fly an airplane through the air, a child with autism might continue to spin the car’s tires or examine the bottom of the plane. Their interest is in the parts of the object rather than the whole.

I believe that they will take apart toys or other objects to see how they work. They may or may not be able to put it back together. I had a young boy in my care who would break anything he got a hold of, inspecting every odd piece of things. It seems destructive but I am certain that is not the intention. Relating to things rather than people who have emotions seems to me to be a part of ASD.

If another child tries to interact or play with him, a child with autism may not know how to react.

Playing alone

Some kids are just shy. However, solitary play can be an indicator of autism. They may not know how to approach other kids or may be more interested in doing their own activities. If another child tries to interact or play with a child with autism the autistic child may not know how to react. This kind of behavior isn’t uncommon at young ages, but if it’s still happening later age 7 it is a stronger warning sign.

Adults still prefer to be alone and don’t have large groups of people they relate to. They may have a couple of friends or even get married, but they are often seen as introverted or loners.

Lack of interest in pretend play

For kids with autism, pretending and make-believe may be absent or lacking – stuff like picking up a sponge and using it as a pretend phone, or making boxes into a fort. They may not play feed a doll or pretend the couch is a truck or train

Obsessive interests

Older children with high-achieving forms of autism may become fixated on a specific topic. They will know everything about a subject. I had a seventeen-year-old show extreme interest in meteorological information (weather) or a baseball team. This particular child loved baseball and the weather. It was mild ASD but had caused some problems for him in socialization skills.

Unresponsiveness to his or her name

By twelve months of age, most children will look up or respond when someone calls them by name. If a child does not, that may be indicative of autism. I have seen them ignore adults in their lives and just continue to play or do whatever activity in which they are involved. They may struggle to understand or follow simple commands or instructions.

Stereotyped behavior

A child with autism may get “stuck” on certain habits, interests, or behaviors, For example, they may always want to hold the same toy, refusing to put it down even when trying to play with something else. Or they may spend a lot of time lining up cars or arranging objects in a specific order. This is typical of ASD but is also a stage of development with most children.

Loss of language or social skills

Children with autism may seem unwilling to speak or verbalize even though they used to do so. The prolonged use of masks has exacerbated this problem for many children. Mostly they did not see how words were formed so now they don’t know how to speak well or express things well.

A baby who used to babble or make nonsense noises might stop as they get older. Children with autism may also withdraw from social situations even though they used to seem comfortable playing with or around other kids.

Doesn’t point or respond to pointing

Children will typically start pointing out things to their parents by fourteen months. If a child doesn’t point out airplanes or dogs or other interesting things, that could be a red flag. The same is true if a child doesn’t look at things her parent is pointing out. Failure to wave or to respond to waving is another warning sign, notes the CDC. They feel like they cannot relate to things outside their immediate place.

What should I do if my child is showing symptoms of autism?

Schedule an appointment for a formal autism screening. Most doctor’s offices and psychologists should be able to make a referral. From there, you may see a specialist for a full diagnostic evaluation.

You may find it helpful to fill out the M-CHAT, which stands for Modified Checklist for Autism easily found on the web.