Scriptures and Prayers for When You Have a Fear of Abandonment

If you have experienced trauma or loss, there may be fears that arise from those experiences. One common fear associated with a variety of situations is the fear of abandonment. While you begin to uncover and process your feelings, you may discover a fear of abandonment connected to something in your life. Knowing it is there is only a piece of the puzzle.

The next step after you understand it is learning to experience freedom from that fear. There are things you can do to reduce it. Both prayer and leaning on the promises of scripture can help you find healing and hope as you walk forward.

What is fear of abandonment?

The fear of abandonment is not a fleeting, one-time worry that passes on its own. This fear goes deeper than that. Instead, fear of abandonment is a lingering feeling. While it sometimes feels small, it is an insecurity that you cannot seem to shake, especially when it comes to relationships.

Fear of abandonment is the result of loss or trauma in one’s life. The fear of abandonment often stems from childhood. It is connected to the loss of or mistreatment by an important person. It creates a foundation that abandonment is inevitable.

When this fear is embedded in your life, you can be anxious, worried, and try to please everyone. If you have a fear of abandonment, you may struggle with shame and doubt, feel insecure or unworthy, attach to people too quickly or not at all, and may be hypersensitive to criticism.

Unfortunately, the behaviors exhibited often affect your relationships with others. Sometimes you unintentionally drive others away by your behavior, only perpetuating the abandonment narrative in your life. As you begin to identify and understand the fear of abandonment in your life, you can find a resolution.

What causes fear of abandonment?

While there are a variety of scenarios that cause fear of abandonment, they often stem from two main types of loss or trauma. Physical abandonment is when someone important to you physically leaves your life. The other is emotional abandonment.

Some examples of physical abandonment include:

• Death of a parent, sibling, or another important person.
• An imprisoned or geographically inaccessible parent.
• Divorce.
• A pivotal person moving away.
• A tragic event.
• Physical neglect (lack of food, clothing, or shelter).

Emotional abandonment is less concrete but no less impactful. It describes loss but on an emotional level. Some examples of emotional abandonment include:

• Growing up with a physically present, yet emotionally absent parent that is not available to the child (i.e., a workaholic, a parent that cannot connect with the child).
• Consistent dismissal of one’s feelings or ideas.
• Ridicule, especially by adults.
• Bullying.
• Being too heavily relied upon by a parent.
• Dysfunctional communication.
• Feeling invisible or misunderstood.
• Parented by someone struggling with emotional or mental health issues (especially unidentified or untreated).
• Age-inappropriate responsibilities.

Both physical and emotional abandonment profoundly impact a person, especially a child. During childhood, you develop a framework for your life. When there is a loss, emotional or physical, that affects your development. It thwarts efforts as you learn about what relationships are, how they are treated, and how they fit in the world.

Given that children lack the skills needed to process a loss like this, it can result in a deeply rooted fear of abandonment. While childhood is a common time to experience this, it is possible to go through this in adulthood as well. How we experience and process loss affects us at any age.

How to find healing from fear of abandonment

Taking time to identify, understand, process, and talk about the fear and its causes is a key piece of healing. This allows you to find help and understanding, and remove some of the things associated with this kind of fear.

The insecurity at the root of all fear of abandonment is often connected to feeling shame as a person internalizes the abandonment they experienced. When you spend time working through this with a therapist, it allows you to see what is true about who you are.

As a believer, you can take this a step further. You can lean on the promises of scripture and ask God to help free you from the effects of abandonment in your life.

Let us start with these scriptures and simple prayers. Try writing them out or making them into a screensaver for your phone so you see them every day. Pray with faith so you can experience freedom from the fear you carry.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” – Deuteronomy 31:6, NIV

Lord, I do not always feel strong and courageous. Sometimes I feel terrified that everyone will leave me. Help me be strong and courageous in You. Help me remember that You are my God and You go with me everywhere. I want to feel your presence. Remind me that you will never leave or abandon me. Give me confidence in Your promises. Amen

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” – Proverbs 3:5-6, NIV

Lord, sometimes it is hard to trust anyone, even You. I want to believe Your promises more than anything else, even my fears and worries. Show me how to trust people more than my past and my fears. Help me know You more so that I would see Your faithfulness as You make my paths straight no matter what anyone else does in my life. Take care of me and walk with me, Lord. Amen

“I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” – Galatians 2:20, CSB

Father, You have overcome the things in my past. As I bring all the hurt and worry to You, remind me that I have been crucified with You and You live in me. Help me live and walk forward in the freedom of hope, remembering that You cannot abandon me. Take away the abandonment and fear in my past and replace it with the faith that You live in me. Amen

“Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord cares for me.” – Psalm 27:10, CSB

Lord, I feel abandoned. Someone important to me left, leaving me feeling alone and fearing that everyone would leave. Even though they left, remind me of the truth. Give me hope. Show me that You always care for me. Amen

“And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” – Matthew 28:20, CSB

Dear God, sometimes I feel so alone. I worry that no one will stay, as if I am destined to be left alone. Help me remember the words of Jesus here. Remind me that You are with me always; even death cannot separate You from me. You are with me for eternity. I am safe with You. Amen

Next steps

As you seek freedom from the fear of abandonment, consider the help of a therapist. Reach out to us today and we will connect to a qualified Christian counselor from our directory. We are ready to help you identify, process, and find hope as you heal from the things of your past.