10 Facts About Trauma

In recent years, society and culture in the US have changed to the point that talking about mental health is seen as acceptable and important rather than taboo or embarrassing. For many, however, there remains some confusion surrounding trauma and how it affects people.

The best way to avoid becoming dismissive or confused about trauma is to learn about it. The goal is to be sensitive and informed when we encounter trauma, either in ourselves, in professional spaces, or in intimate connections with friends and loved ones.

Trauma Facts

Trauma doesn’t affect everyone in the same way

Two people can go through the same event and come away with completely different experiences. For example, a divorce might affect one child deeply while their sibling takes it in their stride and adapts to the change with relative ease.

We tend to compare our experiences with others, especially those closest to us, so that we can frame or understand our perception of what happened. When it feels like we are the only ones to have experienced trauma from a certain event, we might feel confused.

Sometimes we trivialize or dismiss our own experience. This is often how people become dismissive of trauma in general; they misunderstand their response to something that deeply affects them.

It can take time for us to realize an event has caused trauma

We sometimes come out on the other end of a struggle and continue with our lives only to find that months, years, and sometimes decades later, we can’t stop thinking about what happened. Even in sleep, we find ourselves reliving past events. PTSD and CPTSD happen after an event and affect us until we begin addressing it. Just because something didn’t directly impact us when it happened does not mean it wasn’t traumatic.

Trauma affects us even when we haven’t talked about it with anyone else

Many people try coping with trauma and PTSD by ignoring symptoms, hoping if they don’t acknowledge it, then it isn’t real. At other times shame, fear, or confusion about our feelings make it hard to explain them to anyone.

Sadly, the effects of trauma aren’t stopped when we ignore them or can’t talk about them. It is only when we begin to acknowledge that we are affected and begin talking about what we are experiencing that we can walk the path toward healing.

We can’t always remember the details of traumatic events

One defense mechanism that people have is the ability to blank out harmful or difficult memories. Some people dissociate during traumatic episodes, like abuse. Looking back on those times, they might not remember the details of what happened.

We carry a lot of trauma symptoms in our bodies. Even when we can’t remember the details, we might still feel the effects of what happened in the past. For example, something in the environment might trigger a bodily response such as feeling nervous or sweating.

Time doesn’t heal all wounds

Some old wounds don’t hurt as much as fresh ones, but even much later on, we can be triggered by seemingly small things. Besides triggers, past trauma often affects a lot of our choices, whether we are aware of it or not. Past abuse victims might avoid relationships now, for example. They could be relieved to leave a toxic relationship, but distrustful and less willing to be intimate with someone new. Old wounds continue to affect us until we acknowledge them.

Regret and guilt are the primary emotions people feel after trauma

One of the main reasons people don’t talk about their trauma is because they feel ashamed, embarrassed, or regretful about what happened. Even if it were not our fault, we often feel that it could have been avoided if we had made better or different decisions. We can’t move on until we forgive ourselves and break the shame by opening up to someone about it. This can take time. We need to find the right person to talk to, but it’s something we will need to do eventually.

It’s still trauma, even if you feel like it shouldn’t have affected you

It’s common to get annoyed with ourselves because we were affected by something. That “something” might have been small by our estimation. We might try to minimize the event in our head so as not to give it power over us, only to find that we still have a lot of emotions around it and can’t stop thinking about it. It is only when we acknowledge that the event was traumatic that we can begin to move past it.

Traumatic experiences can’t be compared

When trying to move past trauma, people will tell themselves that other people have experienced ‘worse’ things and coped “better.” Culture and society have taught us to compare ourselves and our experiences with others. We deal with trauma better when we don’t compare our experiences, reactions, or symptoms with others. There are many reasons why different people react differently to the same events, but what counts is how we are affected.

There is no right or wrong reaction to trauma

Our reaction and response to trauma is something that is beyond our control. The same is true for the symptoms we experience after, to what degree they affect us, and for how long they last. We can indeed harm our own healing experience if we choose to ignore or minimize our symptoms of trauma, but there is no right or wrong way to react to traumatic events.

Trauma is valid even when someone says it wasn’t a big deal

There are few things more damaging and unkind than telling someone that the event that caused them trauma “wasn’t a big deal.” As we have already learned, two people can experience the same event and be affected differently. Feeling like we have been exaggerating or overreacting will only add to the potential guilt, shame, fear, and regret we might feel.

Help is Available

Almost everyone will experience trauma at some point in their lives, and many will find it hard to move on. It helps to learn about trauma so that when we experience it, we know that it’s normal and that there is a way through it. We might have loved ones, coworkers, or employees who experience trauma symptoms, in which case we need to know how to help them and not harm them.

People can experience trauma long after an event, and symptoms of PTSD might last for years. All trauma is different because everyone is an individual. What affects one person deeply might not affect another. We can all heal from trauma, regardless of what happened. It will take time, focus, and some degree of openness, but we don’t have to struggle forever. It’s important to remember that you are not alone and there is hope.

It can be hard to know where to start when it comes to dealing with trauma. This is especially true when we realize that we are being affected by events from our pasts. It might help to talk with a counselor. There are trained, confidential professionals who will walk with you for as long as it takes for you to feel stable and emotionally healthy.

If you are ready for counseling, reach out to our office today. We have counselors available who are skillful in helping people process their traumatic experiences. Contact us for more information.