4 Major Reasons Why Anger Control Is An Important Life Skill

Have you ever gotten angry? It’s quite likely that you have, over one thing or another. Anger is a natural human emotion that everyone feels once in a while. Anger is a common part of human experience, but what matters most is how you deal with this powerful emotion.

Some people struggle with anger, finding it quite difficult to calm down when they feel upset. On this end of the scale are those who have what is called intermittent explosive disorder (IED). This is a condition marked by a disproportionate response to provocation. A person with IED will yell, break things, and generally cause a ruckus about something as simple as the store running out of a particular product or a child spilling their drink.

Other people can take their feelings of anger in stride, carrying on with their lives even amid great provocation. Whether you’re one of these even-tempered types, or you find yourself struggling to keep your anger in hand, it’s good to understand the benefits of a healthy relationship with anger, and why anger control is an important life skill.

Signs of anger issues

Anger as a natural human emotion has a positive function in our lives. Anger alerts us that something is missing in our lives, or that something has gone awry, and one of the reasons we get angry is because of our unmet needs.

It can also be the way we respond to the various threats we encounter. The powerful and aggressive feelings and behaviors that anger inspires in the face of these threats allow us to fight and defend ourselves when we are attacked or feel under attack. This means that a certain amount of anger is necessary for our survival.

Since some anger is valuable and plays a positive role in our lives, having too much anger and responding inappropriately to that anger can be problematic. Uncontrolled anger leads us away from the righteous life that God desires for us as James 1:19-20 reminds us.

How can you tell if you have issues with anger? Some signs of anger issues include the following:

• The inability to control anger or constructively express your anger.
• You have gotten in trouble with the law, at school or your workplace because of your anger outbursts.
• You have been told that you need help with your anger more than once.
• Violent aggression is triggered by even the smallest instances, and it can result in acts such as damaging property, screaming and yelling, breaking things, slamming doors, throwing things, hitting walls, road rage, verbal abuse, and physical aggressiveness such as hitting or pushing others.
• You have regular angry outbursts that are disproportionate to the situation.
• Your anger triggers physical symptoms such as high blood pressure, chest pain, headaches, heart palpitations, dizziness, fatigue, or pressure in your head or sinuses.
• You carry a constant feeling of irritation or frustration.
• You avoid responsibility for the things you say or do while angry by blaming others.
• You have thoughts of hurting yourself or someone else.
• You have lost friends or loved ones over your angry outbursts.

If one or more of these signs are present in your life, you likely need to look into learning to control your anger.

Why anger control matters

There are several major reasons why anger control is an important life skill. Being able to express your anger well and keep your anger in check yields several benefits, including the following:

Keep your relationships intact

Having issues with anger undermines the health of your relationships. If you don’t keep your anger in check, you may lash out at the people you love during an anger outburst. If you’re aware of how your behavior affects others but struggle to control yourself, you may also begin to avoid interacting with your loved ones to stop yourself from hurting your friends and family. This only serves to diminish the bonds you have with your loved ones.

Having your anger under control allows you to maintain healthy relationships in several ways, such as by fostering better communication. When you keep your anger under control, it allows you to exercise empathy and avoid the frustration that can arise due to misunderstandings.

Being able to control and channel your anger constructively helps to make you easier to talk to, making communication easier. With empathy and better communication, you will have less conflict in the relationship, which will strengthen the bonds in those relationships.

Lower your risk of health issues

Anger may feel momentarily satisfying, but over the long term, it will exact a price on your well-being. Some of the physiological symptoms associated with anger include high blood pressure, risk of headaches, and increased risk of heart conditions and stroke. When you learn to control your anger, you decrease your risk of these health issues while improving your general well-being. One of the direct benefits of controlling your anger is the reduction of stress.

Improving your sense of control in life

When your anger leads you, it will usually guide you into poor and impulsive decisions that often have lifelong consequences. If you let it become a pattern, uncontrolled anger in your life will gradually lead to weakened decision-making capability. Being able to control your anger can help you be in charge of your decisions as you take greater responsibility for your emotions.

Having the capacity to control your anger allows you to assess a situation honestly and take responsibility when needed without shifting blame elsewhere. You can take reasoned decisions that lead you toward your goals instead of being buffeted about by turbulent emotions.

In this way, being able to use your anger constructively will allow you to focus your energies on what matters to you, providing you with a greater sense of accomplishment, control, and purpose in your life.

Developing deeper self-understanding

Anger is an instinctive emotion and reaction to circumstances, controlled by the amygdala. Our faculty of reason and judgment is located in the prefrontal cortex, and this means that our anger is usually not well-reasoned. Much of the time, anger is triggered by a lack of understanding of ourselves, of others, and of the circumstances we find ourselves in.

When you slow down and learn to exercise good judgment to keep your anger in check, this allows you to learn more about yourself, which includes the causes and triggers of your anger. When you keep anger in check, you allow yourself room to think carefully about what is at the root of your anger and what is shaping your angry response at the moment.

This self-understanding opens the path to cultivating empathy, which improves your patience with and understanding of other people. Being able to see a situation from another person’s perspective helps you negotiate complex emotional situations with deeper insight.

The benefits of anger control

Anger control is an important life skill because it enriches your relationships, reducing conflict with your loved ones while enhancing your sense of well-being and positioning you for success in your various life ventures. As with other life skills, being able to control your anger is something that can be learned over time as you figure out how to let your prefrontal cortex guide your decisions and override your amygdala.

How to control your anger

As inconvenient as it sometimes seems, it’s not possible to eliminate anger. The things that will anger you will happen. You will have experiences of frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable and hurtful actions of others. While you can’t change the reality that aggravating things will crop up in your life, what you can do is grow in your ability to control your reaction to those things. Learning anger control will help you cultivate flourishing in your life.

Relaxation and breathing techniques can be especially helpful during an anger crisis. They provide you with the necessary time to develop a healthy response to your anger that will constructively refocus that aggression.

Another way to set yourself up for success in your quest to control your anger is to practice healthy stress relief regularly. Frequent exercise can provide a good outlet to manage your emotions, as does self-care through creative hobbies and mindfulness meditation which promote a sense of calm and well-being.

Identifying your stressors and anger triggers can also help you make wise decisions about where, how, and with whom you spend your time. You may not be able to eliminate these triggers and stressors, but being armed with foreknowledge will help you be prepared for challenging situations.

Help for anger control

You don’t have to manage your anger alone. To gain deeper insight into yourself and cultivate these habits of anger professional guidance from a trained therapist or counselor is helpful.

Whether through individual or group therapy, your counselor can help you develop a plan to get your anger under control while doing the deeper work of discerning the heart of the issue. In some cases, medication may be needed to treat an underlying condition to successfully manage your anger.

You can get your anger under control and bring flourishing to your life and relationships. Reach out today to a counselor that specializes in anger management and begin your journey toward gaining control over your anger.