Can Christian Couples Watch Porn Together? A Counselor’s Perspective, II

Part 2 of the Watching Porn Together Series

This article follows from a previous article in which I began to explore the question of whether or not Christian couples should watch pornography together. In my first article, I began by looking at the challenges of defining ‘pornography’ in our oversaturated, oversexed culture today. I then explored how pornography affects both the individual mind and the relationship when it is used to enhance sex in marriage. In this article, I would like to look at wider cultural implications—specifically the moral and theological problems inherent in pornography viewing. Pornography is a dangerous game with powerfully addictive qualities. For the Christian, pornography must also be a moral and theological issue since it brings harm to those involved in creating pornographic materials as well as those who view them.

Moral Considerations: Gender, Power, Sex

Pornography, and pornography-like content, by their very nature propagate very specific messages about sex, gender, and power differences between men and women in today’s culture.

Catharine MacKinnon (1985) writes, “Pornography sexualizes rape, battery, sexual harassment, prostitution, and child sexual abuse; it thereby celebrates, promotes, authorizes, and legitimizes them.  More generally, it criticizes the dominance and submission that is the dynamic common to them all. It makes hierarchy sexy and calls that “the truth about sex” or just a mirror of reality.”  This is a telling description of the nature of pornography. Couples, by the simple act of viewing any form of pornography, are explicitly contributing to the exploitation of another human’s sexuality, and legitimizing the abuses portrayed therein. They literally make a moral judgment, at least in the moment, about the value of a human life by the click of a button.

Furthermore, they make themselves vulnerable to replicating the subversive, contemptuous, lewd, dangerous, and harmful acts viewed in the pornography itself. Never think for a moment that your sexual preferences will not be influenced by what you see. Why allow the messages inherent in pornography to influence your mind and your relationship?

Christians and Pornography: Respecting the Image of God

Culturally, it is sad that pornography is even considered within the realm of what is acceptable. Yet, when we consider our nation’s history of slavery, racism, and abortion, we recognize that various forms of human devaluation have been a continual presence in our country. Thankfully, many have risen up to fight against such devaluation.

As a Christian, I hold firmly to the belief that all humanity is made in the image of God, and that human exploitation should in no way be tolerated, regardless of any form or amount of profit that stands to be gained. I know that many of you who read this article, Christian or Non-Christian alike, can agree with the latter part of this position.However, I recognize that not every couple is settled on this issue. My hope is that the material presented in this article will lead couples to engage in serious thought regarding the detriments of ever allowing pornography or pornography-like material into their relationship.

The Benefits of Christian Couples Counseling

Today, more and more couples are seeking treatment to address the negative impact pornography use has had on their relationship. As a Marriage & Family Therapist, I have seen many couples tackle this issue directly and heal from the emotional damage it had caused.

If you relationship has been impacted by pornography use or addiction, Christian-based couples counseling can be a powerful resource to help you not only overcome the use of pornography itself, but also rebuild the trust and emotional security needed to have a healthy and thriving relationship.For more information on my approach to couples counseling and overcoming pornography use or addiction, please contact me by going to https://seattlechristiancounseling.com/.

 

Photos
“Sign of Sexy,” courtesy of pixelcreatures, pixabay.com, CC0 Public Domain License; “Adorable Couple Watching TV”  by imagerymajestic, freedigitalphotos.net