Overcoming the Fear of Commitment to Work

Being in a situation for the long haul can be daunting. It takes courage, skill, perseverance, and creativity to face the many challenges that you’ll face on any journey. Sometimes it can get so overwhelming that it seems easier simply to just quit, but this choice can create problems of its own.

Making a commitment to something or someone is a huge ask. Today might be going well, but you never know what tomorrow will bring. Being committed seems like volunteering yourself to get stuck in a horrible situation, so it’s understandable when people are reluctant to commit themselves. However, there are many benefits to committing yourself to something, and grasping these could help with overcoming a fear of commitment.

Fear of Commitment to the Workplace

Often, the term ‘fear of commitment’ is used to talk about people in romantic relationships. A couple may have been dating for five years, but one of the partners doesn’t want to take the next step and get married. The reluctant partner will more often than not be described as having a fear of commitment. However, fear of commitment doesn’t just happen with romantic relationships, but with other commitments too.

A person can also have a fear of commitment to their work or career. That can manifest itself in a variety of ways, including not wanting to stay at the same company for long, or not wanting to remain in the same industry or career trajectory. It could look like refusing promotions and greater responsibility or being reluctant to take on projects at work as that might embed you deeper into the organization’s ecosystem.

A fear of commitment in the workplace could also look like not wanting to get to know your colleagues or invest in those relationships because you’ll inevitably leave. If a person isn’t fully employed, fear of commitment could look like choosing to dabble in multiple self-directed projects instead of joining a particular organization to partner with or work for. Lastly, fear of commitment in the workplace could appear as procrastination.

Why You Might Fear Commitment at Work

There are many reasons why someone might have a fear of commitment in the workplace. From others’ perspective, not wanting to commit may look like many things, including lacking an ethos of hard work. However, there are experiences and reasons that people have which inform why they may have a fear of commitment to their job or workplace. It’s a good rule of thumb to not assume and instead be curious about why people act the way they do.

A person might struggle with being committed to their work or workplace because of past work traumas or burnout. It could be that at their last job, they gave their all, sacrificing their health and well-being for the sake of their work or a particular project. It may have resulted in burnout, relationship distress, or perhaps they weren’t rewarded as well as they thought they would be. That might make them reluctant to take the plunge again next time.

Another reason a person might have a fear of commitment in the workplace could be because they harbor a fear of change or uncertainty. Job security can often be an illusion. One’s job is only a merger, takeover, or corporate restructuring away from being lost. Beyond that, if shifts happen in the economy, your sector could be heavily affected. If someone experienced these shifts in the past, it could be harder to go all in with their present employer.

Additionally, fear of commitment in the workplace could be connected to deep self-doubt or low self-confidence. Impostor syndrome is a real thing, and it can make someone reluctant to take up positions of authority because they don’t believe they deserve it. They may even feel, unjustifiably, like they aren’t even qualified to be there, and it’s only a matter of time until they are discovered and fired. It’s hard to commit when you feel that insecure.

A fourth possible reason why a person might be afraid of commitment in the workplace is due to their own high expectations or perfectionism. If you know that once you go in, you go all the way in, you may be reluctant to get started. Having high expectations and standards for yourself and others may make you reluctant to commit to projects.

The Unintended Negative Effects of Lacking Commitment

There may be valid reasons for choosing not to go all in with certain projects, responsibilities, and career choices. Unfortunately, the fear of commitment may have negative consequences for you, your well-being, as well as your career prospects. One negative consequence of fear of commitment is that you’ll have decreased job satisfaction. If there are low or no stakes, you get little satisfaction out of it.

A further possible negative effect of fear of commitment may be stunted career growth. By not choosing a path and sticking to it, you don’t get the benefits of growing in a particular space. When you’re rooted in place, you’ve got room for growth, gaining experience, and gathering deeper wisdom in that chosen field. By not committing, you could become the proverbial jack of all trades but master of none.

A fear of commitment might also rob you of the chance to explore your full potential. If you jump between multiple things, it can stretch you, but it might not give you depth. By being uncommitted, you don’t get to focus your full attention and gifts on something for a significant time. You miss reaching your full potential, and you might miss growth opportunities.

Lastly, a fear of commitment could also potentially lead to strained relationships with your colleagues. If everyone else is putting in 110% into something, but you don’t show up, others could perceive you as unreliable, or as uncaring about the energy they’re pouring into the project. Whether they are right or not, it has the potential of straining your relationships with your colleagues and managers.

Moving Past Fear of Commitment

A fear of commitment comes from certain experiences and a mindset that leads to the desire to avoid commitment. You ought to be understanding and compassionate toward yourself so that you aren’t pushing yourself beyond your capacities. Fear of commitment may be functioning in your life as a coping mechanism. It’s important to understand what you’re struggling with, and other, more helpful, and healthier coping mechanisms.

Some ways for you to begin moving past fear of commitment include the following:

Understand what commitment means A new job isn’t a loss of freedom or a lifelong commitment. You’re not stuck in that situation forever with no way of leaving, and you can change your mind. Adjusting your mindset about what commitment means may be helpful to you.

Acting allows you to see more clearly If you remain on the outside and don’t commit to anything, you can endlessly wind up thinking about your options. Until you make a move and commit to something, even if it’s short-term, you can never know what it’s really like or what will happen. As someone once said, the path is made by walking it. Making a choice helps you eliminate some “What ifs.”

There’s no perfect situation One of the reasons people hold back from committing themselves to a particular job or career is because there are one or two issues standing in the way. This isn’t to say you can’t have dealbreakers in your work situation, but it’s a reminder that there’s no perfect situation. There will always be something imperfect about a situation. Embrace that imperfection as part of life.

Set yourself a timeframe In keeping with the idea that you’re not locked into your work situation for life, do yourself a favor and give yourself something like 6 months to a year to commit to a particular situation. You can review and revisit things after that timeframe has elapsed, then decide on the next steps.

Help With the Journey

If you have a fear of commitment, it would be important for you to talk to a counselor. They can help you with deeper self-reflection and self-awareness to better understand the reasons behind the choices you’re making. They can help you strategize to overcome your fear of commitment, which may show up in other areas of your life, as well.

If you are ready for this step, call our offices today. We will create an appointment for you with a therapist in our practice trained to help people struggling with commitment to work. Begin your healing today.