Social Media and Teens: How Parents and Caregivers Can Help

Nostalgia can be a good thing, by helping us appreciate where we have been. By the same token, nostalgia can also be a trap, preventing you from seeing what’s right in front of you and appreciating it. Depending on the generation you belong to, your relationship with social media could be a complicated one, or you may be wholeheartedly for or against it. Facing social media squarely, especially if you’re a parent, is something you must do.

The world has changed and continues to change at a rapid pace. A person’s online presence is often just as, if not more, important than their in-person interactions, and people go to extreme lengths to curate their online persona. Social media is thus a powerful presence among us, made more so by the fact that almost everyone has a device in their pockets that allows them to post, comment, like, retweet, or livestream in any given situation.

Teens find themselves immersed in all this, and their lives have been lived entirely in the social media age. This is all they know, and while it might be scary or new for their parents or caregivers, teens need guidance in this brave new world.

Social Media and Teens: A Mixed Blessing

The subject of teens and social media is a complex and ever-evolving topic. We are constantly learning new things about how social media affects adolescents who are still developing mentally, emotionally, socially, and physically. Even for adults, we’re learning that social media affects people’s mental health, and it reshapes us in unpredictable ways that aren’t always a blessing for us or those we interact with.

With any technology, there are ways it can be beneficial as well as detrimental. Social media as a technology can have both positive and negative effects on teenagers, which means that it requires discernment to see which aspects to manage or minimize, and which to amplify and lean into. Parents and caregivers, particularly Christian ones, shouldn’t have a knee-jerk reaction of either acceptance or rejection toward social media.

On the one hand, social media can help adults and teens by providing a sense of connection and community. There are many online forums on which people can share their common interests. Social media can also offer a platform for self-expression and creativity, and many people make good use of social media that way, producing beautiful, entertaining, and thoughtful content.

Social media can also facilitate access to information and resources. There are more ways to learn now than there’s ever been before, and social media helps by giving access to conversations and discussions as they’re happening in real time. Social media not only allows a person to access information, but it can also be a way to disseminate that information widely.

Having said all that, there is another side to social media. Social media contains much content that isn’t edifying and does not draw our hearts closer to Christ. There is much on social media that isn’t true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8). And yet social media can take up large chunks of our time and thought life, reshaping us and conforming us to values that don’t help us flourish.

Additionally, excessive social media use has been linked to issues such as mental health concerns. It increases the risk and can worsen the symptoms of conditions such as anxiety, and depression. Cyberbullying is also a reality, especially as people are emboldened by the anonymity of the internet to spew vitriol and hurtful comments just because they can, and because there’s no accountability or consequences.

Other effects of excessive social media use include sleep deprivation and physical inactivity which affect physical and mental well-being, as well as emotional regulation. Social media can also be the breeding ground for unrealistic comparisons with other’s lives, which leads to decreased self-esteem. Lastly, issues such as online harassment and digital drama are also realities one must contend with.

The Secret Lives of Teens

Parents and caregivers have a responsibility to help their teens navigate the world of social media. One of the challenges that they may face, however, is the reality of secrecy. A teen may keep their social media activity secret from parents for several reasons, including fear of judgment or criticism about the content they are consuming.

Other reasons a teen might keep their online activity secret include the desire for independence and privacy, concerns they may have about parental restrictions or monitoring of their social media activity, feeling embarrassment or shame about their online behavior, and carrying a fear of losing their phone or internet privileges. These and other reasons may account for why a teen could attempt to keep their online life away from parental scrutiny.

Some teens will go to the extent of having a separate or extra phone, or secret accounts that they don’t allow their parents to have access to or can follow them on. This can all be vexing for parents and caregivers, but there are some ways to turn things around.

How Parents and Caregivers Can Help

It’s a challenge to guide your child when you’re not aware of what they’re getting themselves into. Conversations with your teen regarding these issues cannot be a once-off thing, but rather an ongoing engagement. It’s important, for instance, to establish trust and open communication with your child about social media usage. You need to be informed about social media trends, risks, and safety measures, and talk about these with your teen.

Other ways to come alongside your child include offering support and guidance through the morass of social media, and not punishment. By fostering a positive and non-judgmental relationship with your child, you create more space for them to be open with you about their struggles. You can also encourage greater transparency by sharing your own online experiences, as well as regularly talking about social media use and concerns around it.

Being a parent means looking out for your child, and that includes educating them about online safety and risks, setting clear expectations and guidelines about social media usage, and using tools such as parental control software to monitor your child’s online usage. It’s important not to bulldoze over your kids, but to go the route of respecting their privacy within healthy, age-appropriate boundaries and expectations while ensuring their safety. Don’t exasperate them (Ephesians 6:4).

Parents, guardians, and caregivers can play a crucial role in guiding their teens into healthy social media habits. Some of the ways they can do this include:

Setting boundaries

Social media can be all-consuming, and having access to everything online isn’t necessarily a good thing. Many social media apps have parental control features, and there is software available that can limit access to inappropriate content. Another important set of boundaries is how much time your teen can spend online.

Encouraging offline activities and hobbies

Support activities and relationships that are performed in person. Social media, while being great in its own way, is a poor replacement for a community with flesh and blood people that you know and can interact with in person.

Modeling healthy behavior

Parents and caregivers cannot have the attitude of “do as I say and not as I do”. If you want your teen to handle social media well, it’s important to model responsible social media behavior yourself. Demonstrate responsible use of social media, including how much time you spend on it and the kind of content you consume, as well as considering your online etiquette.

Encouraging kindness and empathy

Parents and caregivers can teach their teens to consider others’ feelings and perspectives online. The cloak of anonymity can mask unhealthy behavior, but that anonymity doesn’t mean one stops being kind, empathetic, or a person of integrity online. Your values in person should be carried over into your online activities.

Fostering critical thinking

One critical issue about social media is truthfulness and false appearances. Parents can teach their teens to evaluate online information and sources critically, as well as to consider how people curate their online personas, whether through filtering and editing their photos or through what they share. Social media has an unreality about it, and your teen should know that.

Supporting online positivity

Social media can be used for a variety of things, and a parent or caregiver can encourage their teen to use social media for good. Social media can be used to advocate for a cause, connect with friends, learn, and for self-expression.

Parents and caregivers can foster an environment where teens feel comfortable sharing their online activities, allowing for guidance and support. They can help their teens navigate social media responsibly and build healthy online habits. Additionally, they can walk with them in dealing with the fallout of social media usage, such as increased risks of mental health concerns.

Parents and caregivers can also help their teens by providing access to professional mental health support. Counseling or therapy can provide a teen with a platform to share their struggles, learn to cope with difficulties, and address mental health concerns such as anxiety or depression. The counselors and therapists at our location are trained to support the mental health of your teen. Contact us today for more information.