To say that you should seek marriage counseling “before it’s too late” is a bit like the popular joke, implying marriage itself is the number one cause of divorce. The funky logic in the latter instance is obvious, suggesting that one might as well never get married. The problem with the former is that you can never know when “too late” is, but it may be helpful to know that it is never too early. Marriage counseling can help set you on the right path even if you are not experiencing immense difficulties, or looking for a way out of a truly difficult circumstance.

Is Counseling the “Last-Ditch Effort?”

Many people see counseling as a sort of last-ditch effort to “save” the marriage without ever seriously considering what it is that they are trying to save. Often, the motivation may be less pure than one might think – the felt need to save oneself from emotional pain, or from the stress and dramatic change that might occur during divorce, or to protect children from the projected harm and stigma of separation, or even just to save face in the eyes of family, friends and peers. These reasons for wanting a marriage to continue may or may not be legitimate, depending on circumstance, but the one thing we seem to lack is a sober understanding of what the marriage is itself. Ironically, we may try to save our marriages while simultaneously neglecting the very thing we claim to value!

Marriage counseling offers a way to slow down and give attention to your marriage as it is, whether you are suffering from deep rifts that seem to deepen and widen every time you have an argument, or if you have specific problems that cause snags in your relationship that need to be addressed.  Problems are a part of marriage. Every marriage has problems but they speak God’s design in marriage in order to help transform us. It is impossible to grow or mature without being challenged, and marriage is the path whereby two people become who they are meant to be in union with each other and in communion with God. Problems are the tools God uses to motivate us towards growth.

Many people have found the insights of counseling to be extraordinarily helpful in gaining a fresh, unbiased perspective on their marital relationship that was not seen by even close friends. Marriage counseling can help each partner recognize the root of their problems, both in the way they relate to each other, and the problems each have just because they are human beings. Counseling can act as a more objective guide that leads you into a better understanding of yourself and the ways you relate to the people who are in your life.  It also provides an opportunity to address imminent problems, big life crises or concerns, and prevent further devastation or negative consequences by directing you both individually and as a couple to overcoming obstacles and nurture positive growth.

Help is Available For Your Marriage

Whether you are struggling to find your footing in a new marriage or have been married and struggling for a while, it is never too early or too late to discover God’s vision for the relationship you have with your spouse. It is never too late sto learn practical ways of living together in harmony as a married couple. Christian marriage counseling not only provides the opportunity to endure for the sake of merely making it through, but also has the potential of revealing to you that marriage is a source of joy, a path of purpose, and a vehicle of transformation.