Overcoming Social Anxiety with Three Easy Techniques

Before examining overcoming social anxiety with three easy techniques, let’s look at what social anxiety is, symptoms of social anxiety, and how these symptoms can impact everyday tasks. Then, we’ll explore what the Bible says about anxiety and three easy techniques to help you or your loved one overcome it.

What is social anxiety?

Nerves on the first day of school or before a big presentation at work are common to most human beings at some point in their lived experience. However, true social anxiety goes much deeper and can be debilitating in everyday life.

Social anxiety, sometimes called social phobia, makes a person fear everyday life situations because they’re worried that others will be scrutinizing them or judging their actions. This fear can cause a loss of joy in simple pleasures like cooking a meal for one’s spouse or taking your dog to a dog park to play with other dogs.

Over time, this fear can lead to disengagement with life. It may even contribute to avoidance of family events and milestones among friends.

While social anxiety can be a chronic mental condition, it is something that can be managed by learning coping mechanisms, by seeing a counselor, and for some, by taking medication to ease the anxiety.

Social anxiety usually appears in childhood and can extend to adolescence and adulthood, especially if not treated. Gender may also play a role because more girls are diagnosed than boys.

What are symptoms of social anxiety?

There are many emotional and behavioral symptoms of social anxiety. Emotional cues include feeling anxious in what might be considered a normal situation for many. Examples include not wanting to participate in a game of volleyball or soccer for fear that you will sweat and others will notice it.

Other emotional symptoms include the fear of experiencing embarrassment or fearfulness of being considered incompetent.

Behavioral symptoms are related to the very real, intense fears experienced by people who live with this condition. They may mean avoiding work, school, or activities they enjoy doing because of the anxiety they experience related to how they will be perceived by others.

Someone who suffers from social anxiety may also avoid doing anything that they perceive to be in front of someone else. While many may not think twice about answering a question that the teacher asks them directly in class, someone with social anxiety may clam up and be unable to give an answer, even if they know it, for fear of how others will view them.

Analyzing how they did after being in a social situation is also a common behavioral cue of people who have social anxiety. Leading up to the social situation, the person may experience intense anxiety. Afterward, instead of feeling relieved that he or she went through with the activity, he or she can overthink their interactions during that social interaction and even perceive the worst possible outcomes from it, even if they’re not realistic.

How can these symptoms impact a person’s everyday life?

As mentioned previously, these fears and worries are not just occasional or slight. They are intense, don’t go away easily, and they present real perceived danger to those who are experiencing them.

Most often, these emotions can make someone not be present in the midst of life’s experiences. A person with social anxiety may be physically present at a friend’s wedding for example. But she struggles so much with the fear of how others will perceive her that it destroys her ability to enjoy what would otherwise be a happy occasion.

Similarly, someone suffering from social anxiety may simply bow out at the last minute quite often. He may make plans, have every intention of getting up the nerve to go to something, and then he cancels at the last minute because his perceived threats of embarrassment are too much. The idea of having to face whatever he is afraid of happening keeps him from doing something or attending an event that he would have wanted to attend were it not for his anxiety.

It’s easy to look at social events such as concerts, weddings, and birthday parties as the only stumbling blocks where these symptoms can have an impact. However, even school or work can pose problems.

If a student perceives that every other student at school is looking at her, she may not be able to attend school on a regular basis. It might mean she is homeschooled or takes classes online to avoid the fear of others’ judgment.

For instance, when an employee fears how he appears in front of his boss, it might mean his work slips because he skips meetings where his boss is present or he doesn’t speak up and share his creative ideas. This can result in being passed over for promotions at best and being fired at worst.

Three easy techniques to help a person overcome social anxiety.

First, note that the word “easy” here does not apply to something that goes away quickly and without much effort. Instead, this term refers to something that begins with a low bar. “Easy” refers to something that can be done by anyone, but it still must be practiced over and over and may not feel easy at first.

Second, it’s important to understand that part of overcoming social anxiety is learning new coping mechanisms, which can be wonderful tools. This does not mean that a person who has social anxiety will be cured forever. Common exacerbations can be stress, life change such as a big move or a new job, and forgetting to practice the tools that have brought relief over time.

Finally, overcoming social anxiety isn’t done in a vacuum. If you think that you or someone you love could be suffering from social anxiety, seek help from a professional counselor. This isn’t something to try and overcome alone. Getting support from someone who is trained in this condition will be an asset.

Meditating on the Scriptures.

One of the techniques that many people with social anxiety have found helpful is meditating on Scriptures about God’s might and overcoming power. One such passage is Psalm 18:1-3, ESV:

I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.

There are many scriptures that can help you in moments of high anxiety. Pick one or two to memorize and store on your phone for when you need them. The Scriptures will help you invite God into your experience and you will feel encouraged by the reminder of his presence in your situation.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Another technique that is helpful to those with social anxiety is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). While pursuing therapy isn’t easy, it is immensely helpful over time as you learn new ways of thinking and experiencing life amidst fears and anxiety. One way that psychotherapists can help a person with social anxiety is through exposure therapy and relaxation exercises.

The exposure therapy is a way to slowly progress toward situations that would ordinarily cause a person severe anxiety. As the person suffering works with his counselor, he can gradually try to face something that may have been troublesome in the past with the express purpose of learning to employ relaxation techniques that he learned in CBT.

Support Group

The third technique that helps many is to seek out a support group. While this may seem contrary to being helpful because it involves being around other people, many report that these groups feel like a safe environment because everyone in them also suffers from social anxiety.

Many counselors in our area can help you set up a session to explore ways to overcome social anxiety. They can also introduce you to support groups and other resources so that your or your loved ones can find hope.

Overcoming social anxiety is possible. You or your loved one can experience healing in the middle of this struggle. It takes practice, prayer, and support, but the work is worth it. Humans are wired to need other humans. Let the counselors in our area help you or your loved one find freedom from social anxiety.