4 Ways to Teach Emotional Regulation to Children

Emotional regulation is essential to teach children at an early age. Society allows people to say whatever they feel and think without any filter. Therefore, kids need to understand the importance of regulating their emotions and exhibiting self-control.

Emotional regulation is vital in children’s lives because they feel big emotions like adults but lack the maturity and skill set to regulate them appropriately. Emotional regulation is a highly underestimated skill but necessary if people want to achieve emotional and spiritual peace in their lives.

Scripture encourages people to regulate their emotions. Our emotional health needs to have this important skill set. 1 Peter 5:6-7 (NIV) says, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

Ephesians 4:26-29 (NIV) adds, “In your anger do not sin; Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” With the help of the Holy Spirit, people can teach children to regulate their emotions in a way that helps them resolve them effectively.

Pray about it

The most important thing we can teach our kids is to pray. Preschool-age kids are only away from their parents for a short time. They rely on their parents for all their basic needs to be met. However, when they go off to school, they experience a new sense of independence that they must deal with properly. However, kids don’t always have the maturity to handle that type of independence.

Prayer is an excellent way for children to foster their relationship with the Lord so that they can understand and implement it right at school. They can also be a witness to their friends when someone sees them praying about a situation, such as a test or confrontation with a bully.

Kids can learn how to pray in ways that will not only help them in school as children but also when they become adults. They can learn to regulate emotions as they bring their sadness, fear, and anger to God, who is faithful to carry their burden for them. This is a great reinforcement of the truth of Scripture and God’s presence with them all day long.

Prayer is especially vital if they’re dealing with emotional issues. Cyberbullying, parental divorce, and addiction are all things kids must deal with in today’s world. Teaching kids how to pray helps them to lean on God in all circumstances. For example, when they’re angry, they can go to God and ask God for his help.

Even the simplest prayer, “God, help me!” can help a child greatly with their emotions. Prayer is suitable not only for children but also for adults. It is perfect for kids because it is easy for them to grasp, especially if they come from a Christian home where they see prayer being modeled in their families.

Find a local church

Schools do not always teach emotional regulation skills. However, the church is an excellent place for kids to learn emotional regulation skills. They sit in classroom settings the same way the school would, but they also have teachers who are forgiving and gracious with them when they have outbursts. The teacher can deal with the emotions properly and teach them how to conduct themselves in a safe environment.

A Sunday school teacher can help them as they grow and attend class regularly. The skills they learn in children’s church or sitting in a pew on Sunday morning will translate into kids who can quickly handle themselves in the classroom.

Additionally, children with issues that make emotional regulation especially difficult, like autism or ADHD, can get the resources and help they need in a church classroom. Their presence in a church classroom can help them get additional help in the school setting if necessary. The child will have a Sunday school or children’s church teacher who has monitored them and can verify that they may need additional resources in the classroom.

Churches provide help and resources at a low cost to parents who, in addition to battling their child’s emotional issues. may also find additional tutoring and help too expensive to pursue. A church can be a great resource for every kid who needs to learn proper etiquette and conduct, both in and out of the classroom.

Reward them

Creating a sticker or other reward-based chart system for kids to use at home will most likely give the child the motivation to practice self-regulation. Most elementary school classrooms use some sort of prize or reward system.

If a parent can use these skills with their child, this will quickly translate at home. Buy a few small toys from the dollar store and create a treasure box. Get a piece of poster board. Write down the emotions that you want to help the child regulate.

Sadness, anger, and fear are all appropriate emotions that can get out of control quickly if a child does not understand how to deal with them. Whenever a child feels fear, use appropriate regulation tactics such as prayer, asking for help, or talking about it.

If the child practices self-control that day, give them a sticker on their chart. In fact, as part of the process, as the child how they thought they did. This step of self-reflection will be helpful in their growth.

For example, one day for each day of the week, children who regulate their emotions properly without outbursts can pick a prize out of the treasure box that you have created. This is great for kids to learn that emotions are not bad things. Children who can carry their skills throughout the month can earn unique prizes. Designate a jar or other chart to indicate what they can earn if their behavior continues throughout the month.

However, they often need to get the right message that the action associated with the emotion is wrong and, therefore, destructive. Kids need to realize that emotions are not bad but rather indicators of a much deeper issue.

Pinpoint the deeper issue

Kids need emotional intelligence to understand the deeper issues behind their problems. For example, if a child acts out at school there is a deeper conflict that they are trying to resolve. They may feel things are unfair, favoritism is taking place, they may not understand a subject topic, or they may feel uncertain about an issue or conflict at home. At times, there is selfishness that must be dealt with, too.

Talking with them regularly about their feelings, fears, and grievances can help them pinpoint the real issue. They need to understand that emotion is merely the reaction to the deeper problem, not the cause of it. Children need to understand that emotions will always be with them, but their response is what counts.

This response will follow them throughout their school years as they grow into adults and find themselves in workplaces where they also must regulate their emotions. Social media adds pressure to school-age kids, as well. They are bombarded with so much that they are emotionally affected and don’t know how to deal with it appropriately.

By helping children deal with emotional regulation at an early age, we not only prepare them to do well in school but also help them thrive as they become adults.

Getting help

Does your child seem to have emotional outbursts and regulation issues that do not respond to the efforts of adults to help them manage? Are you exhausted trying to navigate your child’s big emotions? Your child may need to be evaluated for emotional dysregulation disorders such as ADHD or autism. Seek out the help of a professional. Contact us today and we can make an appointment with one of the therapists in our office.