A Christian Counselor’s Approach to Low Self-Esteem (Part 2 of 3)

Part 2 of a 3-Part Low Self-Esteem — A Christian Counselor’s Approach Series

A healthy self-esteem is the foundation for a healthy sense of identity, and knowing your self-worth will allow you to face any challenges with consistency and a certainty that you are a capable person. It can be easy to doubt yourself or to focus on your flaws, but in order to develop a positive sense of yourself, you must follow certain steps that will enable you to understand your value as a human being. This is the second in a three-part article about how you can take steps to improve your self-esteem. In my previous article “A Christian Counselor’s Approach to Low Self-Esteem (Part 1 of 3)”, I examined the first two crucial steps to developing a healthy self-esteem: positive thinking and self-care. In this article, I will look at the next three steps you can take to grow and understand your self-worth and dignity as a human being.

Learn From Your Failures and Accept Your Flaws

There is a difference between having a low self-esteem and having a healthy desire for growth and self-improvement. I think the difference lies in how we respond to our failures. It is important to understand and accept that no one is perfect; we all have strengths and corresponding weaknesses. We are bound to fail. It is part of life. The problem comes when we beat ourselves up over our failures and miss the opportunity to learn and grow. For example, I remember applying for a position several years ago and found out I had to take a rather extensive computer exam. The person administering the test soon discovered my lack of computer prowess and became embarrassed for me. I could have easily tortured myself for my ludicrous attempt. BUT, I decided to be honest about the fact I was over my head and determined to improve in my computer skills for future reference.

Know Your Strengths and Maximize Them

Continuing the computer example, I am not good at most things technical, computers, mechanics, plumbing, carpentry, math and science. It didn’t take long to learn this about myself early on. However, I have great interpersonal skills, I am not bad at public speaking, and I used to play a mean game of tennis. I have an above average singing voice, but you won’t catch me wowing anyone on the dance floor. I have learned those things I excel in and have learned to not punish myself for not being good at everything. Some people are talented musicians but couldn’t dribble a basketball if you paid them. Others are extremely coordinated and excel at sports but couldn’t whistle on tune if their life depended on it. We all have strengths and weaknesses. When we choose to celebrate our strengths and set realistic goals for improvement in areas of weakness, we can have a healthy and balanced perspective to live by. We want to be cautious not to dwell on our weaknesses and imperfections; instead, we strive to discover the gifts with which God has blessed us. Check out 1Corinthians 12: 12-31.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People

We have all done it at some point. We compare ourselves to others and gauge where we are based on what we see in someone else. If our comparison was only an observation that would be okay, but in comparing ourselves we often become too critical of ourselves. The thing about comparison is that there is never a win. How often do you compare yourself to someone less fortunate and count your blessings? Usually, our comparison is with someone with whom we perceive at being, having or doing more. Comparing yourself to others often is the main source of your biggest insecurities and prevents the kind self-worth and self-esteem that you are looking for in your life.

Get Christian Counseling

If you or someone you love struggles with low self-esteem, seek help from a Christian counselor; they can offer a safe and supportive place to work on improving self-esteem. There is real hope for living a life of renewed purpose and meaning. A Christian counselor understands that you were created by a God who highly esteems His creation – so much so, in fact, that He provided the ultimate sacrifice, Jesus Christ, for our salvation. Christian counseling will offer a critical relationship for your personal growth, and through counseling you can work toward developing and improving your own self-esteem.

To read the third article in this series, click here.

 

Images
freedigitalphotos.net – “Girl Looking in the Mirror” and “Strengths or Weaknesses Directions” by Stuart Miles