A Christian Counselor’s Approach to Low Self-Esteem (Part 3 of 3)

Part 3 of a 3-Part Low Self-Esteem — A Christian Counselor’s Approach Se

How blessed is the person with a positive self-esteem! Self-esteem is the way you think and feel about yourself. Having a good self-esteem means you feel confident about yourself and have a positive regard for who you are. You respect and appreciate yourself and others. Most individuals reading this article would agree that self-esteem is highly associated with overall life satisfaction. Individuals with a healthy self-esteem tend to succeed because they feel confident facing challenges and taking risks to reach their goals. They have more energy for positive pursuits because the energy they have is not wasted on depleting negative emotions, feelings of inferiority, or a drive to please others at the expense of their own well-being. A Christian counselor can help you to develop a healthy self-esteem. In my previous article, I began to explore some of the positive and helpful steps that can assist you toward a healthy self-esteem; below are some more ideas about how you can improve your self-esteem.

Take Risks

There is nothing quite like accepting a new challenge and accomplishing it. What is it in your life that you have put on the shelf because you are hesitant to try? Go back to school and earn the college degree you have always thought about. Put an application in for the promotion, take up guitar lessons, train for the marathon, jump out of the airplane, or decide to become the Sunday School teacher of the sixth-grade boys at your church. Susan Schenkel, author of Giving Away Success, shares: “Taking action helps to restore a perception of control and to lessen the sense of helplessness. The feelings of success generated by even a seemingly trivial accomplishment can inspire optimism and a desire to carry on.”

Talk to Yourself

The messages you allow yourself to hear contribute to healthy or unhealthy self-esteem. If you feel inadequate and powerless, it probably stems from your personal belief system. On the other hand, you can better your self-image by simply changing your self-talk and basic beliefs about yourself. It makes sense that people who struggle with a low self-esteem are very critical of themselves. That critical voice within talks you down into feeling inadequate, inferior, and incompetent. You need to catch yourself engaging in self-critical talk and disrupt the negative thoughts. Find ways to divert your thinking: take a walk, do household chores, engage in a hobby, shout ‘Stop!’ if necessary, or even snap a rubber band against your wrist (gently is still effective). The point is to do something to divert your mind from its negative thought process. Next, counter your inner dialogue with appropriate questioning and self-supportive statements to balance your self-critical thoughts. A Christian counselor can walk you through specific exercises linked with Biblical truth to move you toward your goal.

Develop a Healthy Support System

Let’s start by noticing and acknowledging the good in other people. When we recognize the good in others and the gifts they have to offer, we start to realize the good things we have available to offer as well. It also becomes evident that we are meant to live in community with other people. We need other people in our life, in order to stay positive and grounded when we want to be hard on ourselves. In particular, if we stay connected to people who build us up rather than tear us down, healthy self-esteem has a fighting chance. Understanding that may cause you to step away from some of your negative friends and find positive people who will celebrate your strengths. Just remember: the key is not to isolate yourself, but develop a healthy support system.

Get Connected

One of the best places to find a healthy support system is to get connected in a local church. I have seen amazing things happen when people who are dedicated to their faith come together, trusting that God is available to help any who call upon him. I am certain that my personal self-worth has grown in conjunction with my connection to a church family. I can honestly say that being surrounded by people who accept me and celebrate my strengths has made an enormous difference in my life and my self-understanding. If you are not already connected with a community of faith or with God, seek a church community that allows you to develop these relationships, and you will certainly find a healthier sense of self.

Pray

God alone is the source of goodness. He created us, and everything He created is good, including you! Prayer is the place we can connect with God in a very unique way. As we pray He will remind us of the special blessings He has given us. He will reveal to you your special place in His kingdom and how He will use your gifts to share His goodness with others. In order to participate in God’s kingdom, you have to understand how special you are and how deserving you are to experience His love. Pray that God will help you understand these truths and build up your self-esteem.

Through prayer, you can ask God for discernment and wisdom, and He will guide you to people who can help. If you are struggling with low self-esteem, ask God to help you find a Christian counselor that is the right person to assist you toward a healthier self-esteem; a good counselor can support and encourage you as you work on developing your self-esteem. Christian counseling offers a relationship that can aid personal growth, and a Christian counselor can help you learn to appreciate your self-worth.

Photos
freedigitalphotos.net – “Businesswoman Showing Thumbs Up” by imagerymajestic and “Group of Teenagers Jumping” by Ambri