A Christian Counselor’s Perspective on Making Decisions

Decision making has been a common theme for me. Both in my counseling practice and in my personal life, I have been aware of people around me who are  working through major life decisions. Some examples include: “Should I take this new job?” “Where should I attend college?” “Should we get married?” “When is the right time to take a financial risk?” “Should we have kids now?” These are just a few examples of the choices many people are facing. I often hear the question: “How can I discern what God wants for my life?” Or, “What if I can’t hear His voice audibly say which way to go?” As Christians, we are not only trying to make wise decisions, but we are also trying to make choices that align with God’s call in our lives.

Your God-Given Calling

Since everyone faces big and small decisions in their lives, I thought I would offer my personal and professional thoughts on the process of considering options and making decisions. I like to begin by discerning God’s call on your life in general. Where do you feel most fulfilled? When are you confident that the Lord is using your unique skills? After gathering this information, I would use it to consider your ability to live your God-given calling in both situations.

God Does Not Want You to be Controlled by Fear

One of my main concerns when walking through big decisions with clients is the role that fear can play in our lives. God does not want us to be controlled by fear or to allow fear into the driver’s seat of our lives. Fear can be a powerful enemy if we do not acknowledge its presence. You might ask yourself: “Is fear keeping me from stepping into the unknown?” “Is fear keeping me from taking a job that pays less but provides more community?” “Is there unspoken fear that my marriage could end like that of my parents?” One of my favorite devotionals, Jesus Calling by Sarah Young, speaks to this when the author writes, “Do not let fear dissipate your energy. Instead, invest your energy in trusting Me and singing My song. The battle for control of your mind is fierce, and years of worry have made you vulnerable” (2004, 170 ). At times, it can help to find the root of your fears, which may stem from past experiences or events in childhood. Being able to step into the decision-making process with our focus on God instead of on our fears will allow for wisdom and clear discernment.

Pay Attention to the Helper Within

When making decisions I always think of my Grandma Rosy. She likes to tell a story about being in a department store with my aunt, her oldest daughter. My aunt was unable to decide between a gold and a silver watch. My grandma advised her not to buy any watch that day, but instead to make a decision and to sit on it for 24 hours. In those 24 hours she was not allowed to share her choice with anyone else and was encouraged to pay attention to her own thoughts and feelings. If she felt peaceful and content with her choice during that time, she would know that she had chosen wisely. But if her decision had left her unsettled, concerned or agitated, she may have made the wrong choice.

I love this story because it is such a great example of how we tend to lose sight of our own intuition and discernment when constantly seeking advice from others. The Lord blessed us with the Holy Spirit to direct and guide us. But when we listen to other people, we tend to forget the helper we have within us. Having ten different opinions rolling around in our brains can often muddle the decision-making process and even create more anxiety. Family and friends may also offer advice based on how your decision will affect them. However, processing your decisions with an unbiased outside party can have many advantages during confusing times.

A Christian Counselor Can Support You as You Make Decisions

If you are considering a big decision, either as an individual or with an important person in your life, it may be helpful to consider discussing your concerns with a Christian counselor. A trained Christian counselor can come alongside you and help you to process your fears, explore your calling, and reach an informed decision. If you would like to find out more about the possibility of Christian counseling, please reach out to me here.

 

Photos
Provided by FreeDigitalPhotos.com: A Man Standing Under a Decision Board, courtesy of David Castillo Dominici; Change Or Same Signpost, courtesy of Stuart Miles.