A Time of Major Life Transitions: A Christian Counselor’s Perspective on your 20s

After moving beyond adolescence, the expectation is that young adulthood is a time of exploration, memory making, carefree adventure, and independence. However, the reality many people face is that their 20s are filled with challenging changes and major life transitions. These transitions may be in your physical location (moving out of the house), changes in relationships (distancing from a friend), or confusion about your role and direction (career exploration). They often bring anxiety that can be overwhelming at times. Whether you are in school, have recently graduated, or are working, your 20s can bring on an onslaught of turns in the road that can feel like too much to handle on your own. You may be asking yourself: Am I in the right job? Is this the right major? Is he/she the one? Will I get the promotion? Will this friendship weather the storm? Am I fulfilling God’s call in my life? These are all normal questions to ask as you transition fully into adulthood and set the foundation for your future. Some of the most prominent areas of transition and stresses for young adults are listed in detail below.

Your Relationship with Your Parents

Surprisingly, the journey towards independence from your family can continue well into your 20s. As you gain your footing and make decisions apart from your parents, the relationships between you and your mom or dad will need some adjustments. These adjustments can be uncomfortable at times as you renegotiate the roles and boundaries in the relationship. There may come a point when you realize you do not share the same opinion as a parent, or you disagree with decisions they want you to make. These changes may not be welcomed by the parent and may cause conflict within your relationship. While gaining a renewed sense of independence, changes will inevitably occur and they may not always be pleasant.

When Friendships End

I think it’s safe to assume that most high-school students believe that they will maintain their friendships for many years into the future. The reality is that friendships continue to morph and change as time continues.These changes in friendships can be challenging to navigate as new seasons of life arrive and other seasons come to a close. When a period of friendship comes to an end it can come with great heartache and loss. At times it can be hard to put words to your feelings, as your community continues to grow and change through transitions such as moving, beginning school, marriage, and eventually having children. In our fast-paced lives, we often neglect to give ourselves the time to truly mourn the end of a relationship, or slow down enough to truly be present for someone for whom we care.

Dating and Marriage

Relationships with significant others may present some of the most challenging transitions in early adulthood. Figuring out who you are is hard enough without adding another confused and searching person into the mix. As crushes, boyfriends, and girlfriends come and go, it can be helpful to have a safe place to process feelings, discuss concerns, or address the question of commitment. Intimate relationships also teach people both positive and negative things about themselves. New discoveries about yourself may be difficult to incorporate into your relationship with yourself and others.

Worrying About Your Career

Young adulthood is also a time for exploring who you want to become professionally. The focus of your time and identity may become tied up with your career or job aspirations.  Through studies, internships, volunteering, and jobs, so much time and energy are spent in pursuit of the perfect employment situation. Worries about what might happen after graduation or a job loss can be unbearable and suck the joy from everyday life.

Social Media Can be Stressful

As if normal life events aren’t stressful enough, social media adds another layer of pressure to meet certain expectations of happiness and fulfillment. Facebook can create an unrealistic standard for how life should look as you scroll through the photos of friends with lives that appear carefree and filled with perfect relationships. Not many people want to present themselves as broken or confused, so they portray themselves in a way that makes young adulthood look easy. In the daily grind, it can be challenging to decipher between what’s reality and what isn’t.

Christian Counseling for Young Adults

Personally, as someone who loves consistency, planning, and predictability, I have always struggled with major life transitions; they are usually marked by painful adjustments to new changes. Sometimes we need help to smooth those transitions and to process the impact they may have on us and on our relationships. This is where Christian Counseling can be beneficial. While many young adults have a friend or family member to talk to, that person often cannot provide a clean slate or unbiased opinion. Counseling is a place where you can find an unbiased listening ear to help you discern direction, calling and passions. It’s ok to feel confused, lost and uncertain. It’s ok to feel anxious about the decisions coming your way. These concerns are all welcomed in counseling as you pursue fulfillment and living into God’s calling in your life.

 

Photos
Images from Freedigitalphotos.net. “Sitting Man with Headphones Looking at You” by imagerymajestic; “Social Network Background With Media Icons” by photoraidz