Dealing with Women’s Issues: What to Do When You Feel Insignificant

Satan likes nothing more than to wedge himself into our thought process. He wants us to feel insignificant and like we are less than. He wants us to believe that we will not amount to anything and that God cannot use the hurts of our past for something good. He wants us to believe that healing might not be possible for the emotional scars that overtake our fragile and weary souls.

Over time, we start to believe the lies:

• We are not pretty enough. We will never look like the women on magazine covers.
• Our dreams are not big enough. Or they are too big, and we cannot accomplish them.
• Our marriage is not as strong as others around us. Our marriage is boring.
• Our attempt at motherhood is a hot mess. Will our children ever stop throwing temper tantrums? Will everyday end in defeat and tears of frustration and overwhelm?
• She seems so put together while we struggle to keep our head above water. We are flailing around and feel like we will never feel safe from the fierce waters of life.

These lies, when said over and over to ourselves, begin to affect our thought process and belief system.

• Maybe you are struggling with shame, insecurity, grief, loss, or feelings of inadequacy.
• Perhaps you have recently lost a close relationship and feel insecure in your relationships.
• Perhaps someone has broken your trust and now you are not sure you will ever trust again.
• Perhaps this season of parenting has you on your knees, begging God for direction.
• Perhaps a medical condition is making you feel held back and that you do not have much to offer.
• Perhaps this season of your marriage feels distant, and you are questioning what to do next.
• Perhaps this season of your career feels frustrating and defeating. You feel unseen and stuck in the trenches.
• Perhaps this season of defeat is leaving you with less hope and more questions about how to move forward.

5 Steps to Take When You Feel Insignificant

Take heart, today. Here are five steps to consider as you break free from feeling insignificant and fill your heart and mind with the promises of God:

1. Take every thought captive.

“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ . . .”  – 2 Corinthians 10:3-5, NKJV

To fill our minds with the right things, we must learn to set up a filter. We need to weed out the things that tell us we are not good enough or pretty enough. Sometimes the noise that fills our minds can come from television shows, songs, movies, groups we hang around with, or from wallowing in mistakes that follow us from the past.

To take every thought captive, when a negative thought about your worth or hope for the future creeps in, you must try to flip the script of your mind and channel that thought to what God believes about you.

If you think, “I will never feel beautiful,” I want to challenge you to look in the mirror and think about the fact that the Creator of the Universe calls you beloved. He treasures you. You are made in His image.

Psalm 139:14 tells us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made:

“I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.”

Find one quality that you like about yourself and begin shifting those thoughts of negativity and comparison to valuing who God created you to be. That birthmark that you cannot stand; it’s a beauty mark! It is a reminder that God breathed life into you and has great plans for your life.

Redirect those thoughts of negativity or feelings of worthlessness and place constant reminders around you that you are chosen, wonderfully made, and have a bright future ahead of you.

2. Do a heart check.

What is holding you back and makes you feel like you are drowning? What is making it difficult to trust? Do you have an accountability partner or mentor in which you can confide? Do you need to schedule a counseling session to work through baggage from the past that continues to weigh you down and make you feel insignificant?

You are made for a divine purpose. Perhaps your scars from the past make you feel like close relationships are not in the cards for you. Perhaps you have felt judged in earlier relationships and have a tough time opening up. We serve a God of forgiveness, compassion, and second chances.

Perhaps it’s time to drop the emotional baggage, such as those feelings of alienation, the past abuse that made you feel like you cannot be loved, or the person who abandoned you in the past. Those feelings are not meant to stay upon your shoulders.

The same God who carried a cross on His shoulders so we could experience forgiveness and healing is the same God who wants to remove that weight that you have been carrying. Sheila Walsh said it beautifully, “Jesus invites the tired and worn-out to come to Him…and He promises us rest.”

3. Dig into God’s Word.

In our culture that is constantly on the go and constantly looking for quick resolutions, it can be easy to forget the beautiful road map that God has provided – the beautiful love story of His Word. The Bible reveals who God says we are and that He has a master plan.

I encourage you to just start where you feel comfortable. Do not feel like you need to read an entire book a day – just take some time to fill your heart and mind with the promises of God’s Word.

Ann Voskamp reminds us, “We want clarity and God gives a call, we want a road map and God gives a relationship, we want answers and God gives His hand.” Sometimes the answers are not written in the sand, but if taken to heart, they can be written on our hearts.

4. Focus on baby steps.

It was once said that “Baby steps still move you forward.” Do not let the enemy creep in just because the results are not instant. Sometimes the greatest journeys are the ones that focus more on the consistency that produces huge leaps. Consistent changes in your thought process and relationships can mean that life-changing work is being done.

Baby steps might come in the form of attending a new Bible study, being honest about your struggles, or making a phone call to restore a broken relationship.

5. Permit yourself to dream big. You are doing great. Do not try to chase perfection – it is a turbulent roller coaster that will leave you spinning in circles. Strive for authenticity. Strive for healing. Strive for believing in the person God created you to be. Strive to break free from the chains holding you down from your past. Strive for dreaming big and believing that God can use your brokenness for good.

Your past does not define you, God does. I want to challenge you to recite and memorize positive affirmations over your heart and soul. We must fill our minds with who God says we are and drown out the negativity of feeling less than.

Affirmations for your heart:

• I am fearfully and wonderfully made – Psalms 139:14
• My future is bright – Jeremiah 29:11
• I am never alone – Matthew 28:20

Scripture on who God says you are

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. – 2 Corinthians 5:17

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. –Jeremiah 29:11

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. – Philippians 4:13

You can take a huge leap today by scheduling your first counseling session. In these sessions, we can work through breaking free from the chains of the past and dreaming big for the future God has for us. You are worth it!