Emerging From Narcissistic Parents

When it comes to narcissism, there is a spectrum of severity. While many people have narcissistic traits, some people have highly narcissistic personalities. Others have a full-blown narcissistic personality disorder. It’s well known that narcissistic exposure can damage an adult badly enough.

But the traumatizing effects of being raised by a narcissist leave psychic scars which drive many into therapy later in life. These scars can be thought of as common traits of children with narcissistic parents. Every parent-child relationship involves some amount of occasional conflict, stress, and confusion. This is not exactly breaking news and has been the premise of many a pop culture offering.

We expect it, accept it, and, for the most part, manage it. However, there are instances where things go far past the normal family pitfalls. A particularly dangerous example involves the presence of a highly narcissistic parent. In this case, family life and its inevitable conflict look nothing like a T.V. sitcom. And the harm done is not easily undone. Tune in and learn how to identify and move on from narcissistic parents.

The child of a narcissistic parent faces more red flags than they can name. They spent their “ordinary” family life dodging the slings and arrows of narcissistic abuse. This abuse can be physical and/or emotional. And sadly, many adult children of narcissists may not be aware until many years (and much pain) later. Like a poison that takes years to clear your system, the toxic impact of these early relationships seeps into adulthood and taints adult relationships.

Fortunately, trauma can be resolved. You can recover from such abuse. A giant first step is to learn more about narcissism, trauma bonding, and how it may have shaped your life.

Over the last twenty-plus years as a practicing psychotherapist, I’ve seen many trauma survivors in my practice. Most of them described to me how their early life with their narcissistic mother and father cast a long shadow across their lifespan.

The parents they described sounded as if they were highly self-absorbed, and had difficult life situations, and perhaps other mental and emotional disorders. These drove their high levels of self-absorption and emotional immaturity. They faced things like:

• Drug and alcohol problems
• Domestic violence
• Mental illness
• Untreated trauma
• Chronic Medical Illness

These are all highly stressful life situations. And it’s easy to see how being exposed to them could be traumatizing to a child. Below I’ve described some damaging traits their caretakers had and the traumatic effects which shaped the traits of children with narcissistic parents.