First Task of Life: Building Your Ego Structure

Part 2 of the Life Tasks Series

In my previous article, I introduced the book Falling Upward by Catholic spiritual writer Richard Rohr. In Falling Upward, Rohr outlines what he calls the “two tasks of life,” each of which is necessary for our human and spiritual development. Ultimately, our goal is to enter the second task of life, which is spiritual maturity and fulfillment attained through suffering and God’s grace. But in order to get to that point, Rohr argues that we must successfully complete the first task of life, which involves establishing a strong sense of selfhood and security. Rohr likens these two tasks or ‘halves’ of life to building and filling a container: in the first half of life, we construct our container using tried and tested rules, boundaries, and guides. In the second half of life, we move beyond the container and discover what it was meant to hold.

In other words, the first half of life is all about ego structuring: building a solid container (ego structure) that will propel you through the second half of life. In order to progress on our spiritual journey, we must first discover who God created us to be, and this takes time. Yet, when we are called to move into the second task of life, we must be willing to let go of the ego we have formed. Successfully completing the first half of life’s task prepares you for the greater purposes God has in store; therefore, knowing what this first task entails will help you on your journey to spiritual maturity and knowledge of God.

Issues of the First Task

Rohr highlights three major concerns for the first task of life: identity, security, and sexuality and gender (4). While we are working through the first task of life, these three areas remain our central preoccupations. Those who properly engage with the first task focus their efforts on “establishing their personal (or superior) identity, creating various boundary markers for themselves, seeking security, and perhaps linking to what seem like significant people or projects” (vii). In the first half of life, you discover your interests, pursue a career, get married and have a family. This process forms the foundation of ego structuring,(4) and it is something all of us go through.

This is not to say that during the first task your ego operates alone. Rohr writes, “I think we all need help from the ‘perennial tradition’ that has held up over time. We cannot start at zero, entirely on our own… We are parts of social and family ecosystems…” (28). These social structures are in place to help us build a solid ego structure; we learn not just from our own experience, but also from our communities, history, and tradition.

We Need Laws and Limits

In order to build our containers properly, we need boundaries. Rohr writes, “Without law in some form, and also without butting up against that law, we cannot move forward easily and naturally” (25). Laws, limits, boundaries, traditions, morality, authority—these are the tools for building your ego structure. Without these stabilizing forces, our container will not hold up against the chaos of later life. Rohr cites the Greek physicist Archimedes, who said, “Give me a lever and a place to stand, and I will move the whole world.” Only when you are firmly rooted in a stable place can you hope to have any impact on the world. Using laws and limits to build your container gives you that firm place to stand.

“We need boundaries, identity, safety, and some degree of order and consistency to get started personally and culturally,” says Rohr (4). Think about what it’s like learning to play an instrument. If you are learning the guitar, for example, you have to first grasp the rules of music, such as playing basic chords, reading scales, and techniques for tuning the instrument. Only once you have mastered these things can you begin to improvise and experiment. But it all starts with knowing the rules. The better your foundational knowledge of the instrument, the more interesting and creative you can be later.

Doing it Right the First Time

Rohr reminds his readers that you must complete the first task effectively before moving on to the second. He notes that first task is what prepares you for the “contents and contradictions” of later life. Failing to build your container well or trying to do the tasks out of sequence has lifelong repercussions. He writes, “None of us can dialogue with others until we can calmly and confidently hold our own identity. None of us can know much about second-half-of-life spirituality as long as we are still trying to create the family, the parenting, the security, the order, the pride that we were not given in the first half” (42).

From a psychological perspective, these principles are easy to understand. People who experience trauma or grief early in life are forced into the second task before they are able to fully form themselves in the first task.  Often this means going back and trying to do the first task later in life; however, those who regress this way tend to ‘overdo it.’ Rohr cites the example of male prison inmates, with whom he worked for many years. He notes that most prisoners, “would invariably be overly religious, highly moralistic, and excessively legalistic (believe it or not!), and many overly intellectualized everything.” This was because they lacked the first-task container that is necessary for dealing with their later development: “They would do anything to try to compensate for their dashed, maybe never developed, but publicly humiliated criminal self” (41). Without a proper ego structure, these men lacked the sense of selfhood and security necessary to navigate through the second task of life. Trying to build an ego structure later in life proved not only difficult but also misguided.

Christian Counseling for Spiritual Growth

You cannot stay in the first half of life forever—my next article will address the importance of discerning when and how you are being called into the second task of life. But successfully completing the first task – cultivating your ego structure – is an essential step in your personal and spiritual development. It cannot be skipped, and it must precede your second journey.

Perhaps you have suffered a difficulty that has forced you to enter into the second task of life before you feel ready. A Christian counselor can help you discover how to successfully navigate such challenges without damaging your ego structure. If you simply want to talk to someone about spiritual development, I would be happy to discuss how Christian counseling can complement your journey to God. Our counselors are here to help you navigate life’s challenges by cultivating a container that will not fail when life gets tough; we can offer peace and wholeness for the journey to spiritual and personal fulfillment.

 

Reference
Principles from Falling Upward by Richard Rohr

Photos
Freedigitalphotos.net “Mooring Ring” by Artur and Old Picture Of Fence By Anankkml