How to Cope with Grief: 7 Practical Tips

Grief is a powerful emotion affecting your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. If you are wondering how to cope with grief after the loss of a loved one or the disappointment of losing a home, job, business, or relationship, read on.

The Five Stages of Grief

If you want to know how to cope with grief, you first must understand how we process it. Grief can be brought about by:

• The illness or death of a loved one
• The loss of a job
• The loss of a home
• The loss of a relationship
• The failure to realize a dream

Grief is a natural response to loss. When God created the Garden of Eden, loss was not a part of it. The fall of man triggered grief and death. Thankfully, we can process grief, typically through five stages.

The five stages of grief are:

• Shock or denial
• Anger
• Bargaining
• Depression
• Acceptance

Although many people experience the stages in order, some people cycle through the stages out of order, or get stuck in a specific stage, which is known as complicated grief, that can last months or years.

For example, you may experience shock and anger in the first few days after learning about the sudden passing of a loved one. After the funeral, you may move into the bargaining stage, cycling back into the anger stage for a few weeks. If the loss is extremely traumatizing, you may become stuck, cycling between anger, bargaining, and depression until grief interferes with your daily life, work, and relationships.

Not allowing yourself to process grief and the various emotions attached can make matters worse. Unprocessed grief will manifest in other areas of your life, such as in mental conditions like depression and anxiety. It can also manifest into physical problems, like high blood pressure, sleep issues, gastrointestinal problems, lower immunity, and panic attacks.

Learn how to cope with grief healthily to maintain your physical and mental well-being.

How to Cope with Grief

You must allow yourself the time to process your emotions and heal. However, sometimes grief takes over, making it feel impossible to move on with your life. Whether from being faced with living every day without a loved one or having to give up on a dream after the loss of a business or eviction from home, grief clouds the present and any vision for the future.

The following are several ways you can learn to cope with grief. These will not bring about immediate relief, but will lessen the burden of grief over time and help you focus on your future.

Find people to support and encourage you

Grief can make you want to shut the door on the world, but what you need now is a support system. You need people who love you and care about you. Someone to help shoulder some of the burden from the loss and encourage you to move forward. Someone to offer advice when needed and hold your hand when you want a shoulder to cry on.

You may be able to find this support and encouragement through trusted friends, a grief support group, or your church family. A Christian counselor may lead, or be able to recommend, a grief support group in your area, either in person or virtually. Visit churches in your area until you find one that feels like family and teaches the word of God. It’s okay to feel vulnerable right now. God is there with you in the vulnerability and will make you stronger. Ask Him to lead you to the right people.

Memorialize a loved one

Paying tribute or memorializing a loved one or event can help you move forward. You still celebrate a loved one’s life or the good memories surrounding an event, but you can resume your daily activities. When you choose a specific date to focus on your loss, it makes the other days doable.

For example, if you are having a hard time with the passing of your spouse, consider picking an annual date to celebrate their life. Invite friends and family to share memories, play your spouse’s favorite music, and enjoy their favorite foods. Schedule this as an annual celebration, and the time in between will get a little easier.

Intentional awareness of your thinking process

If you have ever become stuck in the past because of grief, you know how hard it is to resume your daily responsibilities. Depression falls on you, and you feel weary when your thoughts revolve around good and bad memories, things you wish you had said or done differently, or how empty life feels right now. To counter this focus on the past, you must learn to practice mindfulness.

Becoming intentionally aware of what you are thinking about can be used to pull your attention to the present and back onto the people and places around you. It also effectively helps you to identify and feel those emotions while distancing yourself from them. You can practice this awareness by allowing yourself to feel and express your emotions.

For example, when grief overwhelms you like an ocean wave, practice deep breathing, write your thoughts and emotions in a journal, take a walk, or create a piece of art. Move your thoughts away from the loss and focus on the present moment.

Treat sleep like it’s your job

Sleep deprivation and insomnia can make depression and anxiety worse, two mental health conditions that can develop from grief. Treat sleep like it’s your job by going to bed at an appropriate time. This may require you to turn off the television and all devices two hours before bed and adopt a nighttime routine to help your brain wind down for bed.

For example, aim for seven to nine hours of sleep. Two hours before bed, take a warm shower or bath, stretch for five minutes, and brew a cup of herbal tea. Consider reading a book or journaling before bed. Eventually, your body will recognize the routine, and you will find it easier to nod off and stay asleep.

Keep healthy with exercise

Another effective way to help your body recognize bedtime and practice mindfulness is through exercise. Exercising lowers stress hormones like cortisol and triggers the release of endorphins, serotonin, and dopamine, chemicals that leave you feeling happy, less stressed, and confident.

Choose exercises that require you to stay in the present. For example, Pilates and stretching focus on movements and breath. Lifting weights requires you to focus on proper form to avoid injury. Aim for 150 to 300 minutes a week of moderate-intensity exercise.

Give yourself time to heal

There is no set time for grief. Many people resume their lives after a loss, albeit differently, but feel waves of grief from time to time. Sometimes the pain is triggered by a picture, song, food, or memory. These waves of grief can come out of nowhere. Give yourself grace as you work through your grief.

Leaning into God’s word can strengthen you during this time. Finding support from others can hold you up when you feel weak. Don’t focus on the future just yet. Take it one day at a time. If that seems too hard, focus on one hour at a time.

Don’t go it alone – grief counseling is available

Grief can fool you into believing you are alone and that no one understands the type of loss you feel. Although circumstances vary, many people have faced grief and come out the other side. If your grief interferes with your daily life or you have developed complicated grief and depression, reach out to our office today to schedule a session with a Christian counselor.

Your Christian counselor can provide you with more tips for how to cope with grief backed by evidence-based psychological methods. Contact us today to learn more.