Raising a Highly Sensitive Child

Being a parent or a guardian of a child is not an easy job. We are entrusted with these little humans and as much as it is a joy, it can be challenging. However, it is an even more challenging job if you have a Highly Sensitive Child (HSC).

Highly sensitive children come into the world with the ability to process information and stimuli differently than children their age due to the high level of sensitivity. It is important to note that HSCs do not have a disorder that needs to be treated or cured, it is a personality trait, their way of perceiving and experiencing the world which informs their subsequent behavior.

Signs of a highly sensitive child

Knowing if a child is an HSC is important so that they get the proper care and support they need as they grow. Usually, HSC can be labeled as troublesome and disruptive. This label means they will not get the empathy and understanding they need from their caregivers. Below is a list of behaviors to look out for if you suspect your child is highly sensitive.

Heightened emotional sensitivity

Their emotional reaction can be described as extreme in most cases. This means that the reaction is often disproportional to the stimuli. Something seemingly small can set them off.

Meltdowns

Since they experience everything being directed at them intensely, HSC becomes overstimulated easily which can then lead to meltdowns.

Intense need for control

Because HSCs often feel a loss of control on the inside, they try to control what’s on the outside in order to cope. They tend to be rigid and inflexible with certain things. An example could be insisting on eating from a particular plate or dictating how people ought to behave around them. These things ease their anxiety.

Perfectionism

An HSC needs everything to be done right and how they imagine it in their mind. Because of this, they struggle with failure, being corrected, or trying something new they think they have not mastered yet. This also means that they are self-critical and struggle to be compassionate toward themselves. They are filled with shame when they fail.

Extreme self-consciousness

HSCs are sensitive to feelings of being evaluated which is why they do not like being the center of attention, even for things like celebrating their birthdays or achievements.

Empathetic

HSC feels deeply for others. Because they are perceptive and are more aware of the emotions of others, they often exhibit a strong sense of empathy and compassion that can sometimes be beyond their age. They are quick to comfort or offer help where they can.

Struggle with change

When children are highly sensitive, their sense of security comes from what’s familiar and predictable. They become fearful in new situations. This is why they take a long time to adapt to new situations and might need extra support and understanding during times of change.

Higher reaction to sensory input

We all interpret our world through sight, smell, touch, taste, and sound. However, HSCs experience all these more intensely. This is why they have a strong reaction to certain smells or struggle with brightly colored spaces. They get overstimulated easily and this can be overwhelming for a child.

Introversion

A highly sensitive child will prefer spaces that are quiet and calm so that they can function, de-escalate, or recharge. They usually find social interactions draining and or challenging.

Tips for supporting and parenting highly sensitive children

Supporting and parenting a highly sensitive child can be a beautiful experience. However, it comes with unique challenges. Below are a few tips parents, teachers, and caregivers can consider:

Research and education

If you are parenting or looking after a highly sensitive child, it is important to educate yourself about the condition so that you are better equipped to understand your child. Research and education also show you that you are not alone and that your child is not alone. This can be a relief for both the parent and the child.

Love unconditionally

When children are loved unconditionally, they know that they are accepted as they are. When we love our children unconditionally it means we have come to terms with the fact that they are highly sensitive and there is nothing wrong with them. You offer support, encouragement, and discipline to show compassion and understanding.

Provide a calm environment

Though you might not be in control of how the world is organized, you can have control of how your home is organized so that it becomes a safe space for your highly sensitive child.

This can mean designing their room in a way that is not too stimulating, thereby providing them with a space where they can have their downtime after a day outside. A calm environment can also mean good family relations where there is no shouting or screaming.

Have a routine

As discussed earlier, an HSC finds comfort in predictability. Having a routine is one way for them to know what to expect and how to prepare for it in advance. The routine also benefits the parents and caregivers as this gives them a sense of control and predictability while supporting an otherwise unpredictable child.

Watch your emotions

When you have a highly sensitive child, it can be emotionally draining and hard. That should be expected. It is however important, as the caregiver to always watch your emotions, especially in those times they are being “difficult.”

Learn to self-regulate, walk away if you must, ask for help when you are feeling overwhelmed, and take time for yourself. When you are well taken care of, you will be able to take care of others.

Nurture their interests

Highly sensitive Children have also been reported to be quite creative. Nurture these interests as they can be an outlet for them. Whether it’s creative arts or sports, encourage them and offer the support they might need to succeed in those areas. However, please limit these activities because if they are overbooked, they will be over-stimulated and struggle to cope.

Teach problem-solving skills

Their ability to cope with the world around them will be determined by how well they solve the problems in front of them. If you start teaching them how to find solutions to some of the obstacles they have they will become more resilient and hence reduce stress and anxiety.

Have boundaries and discipline in place

Though boundaries and discipline might be tough to administer, they are important aspects of development that should not be overlooked because a child is highly sensitive.

They will still be required to function in the world with rules and consequences for breaking those rules hence they need to start learning that at home. If they have siblings, discipline and boundaries should be consistent, they should not be allowed to get away with what their siblings can’t get away with.

Educate them and others

As much as caregivers might understand the child, the child also needs to understand how they are experiencing and reacting to the world around them. Education is power.

You can teach your child about what it means to be a highly sensitive child, (if that’s been determined) in an age-appropriate way and guide them through understanding themselves, their emotions, and behaviors. If they have siblings, educate them as well so that they too can be additional support.

Seek professional help

Guidance from a professional can be helpful, especially during those times when you feel you are not coping. They can offer you specialized support for your child and your family.

Next steps

If you are raising a highly sensitive child, we would like to inform you that you are not alone. There is help and support for your child and your family. Reach out to our offices and we will pair you with counselors who will provide you with the right support you need.