Are you single, but not loving the season of singleness you’re in? Whether you have never been married before, or you are newly single after a breakup, divorce, or death, you can learn the tips for being single and loving it.
Here are seven encouraging tips for you. Apply these tips for greater satisfaction in your singleness, no matter how long that season lasts.
1. View singleness as an opportunity rather than a burden.
To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. – 1 Corinthians 7:8
The Bible affirms both singleness and marriage. But it does say that marriage is more complicated than being single. Singleness affords you opportunities that marriage does not.
When you are unhappy in your singleness, it’s easy to see it as a burden. However, you can embrace the freedom of having your own choices about what to do with your life as a single person. As a responsible adult, you don’t have to consult anyone else before making decisions. When you choose to view singleness this way, your eyes will be opened to the myriad opportunities in front of you.
Pray that God will help you see the opportunities of singleness rather than focusing on it as a burden. He’ll do the heavy lifting for you so you can find rest in him (Matt. 11:28-30).
2. Grow your relationship with God.
O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. – Psalm 63:1
Your season of being single is an excellent time to grow your relationship with God. Since no one else is competing for your attention when you are alone, you can dedicate that time to loving and worshiping God in new ways. Read books on prayer and spiritual growth or listen to the audio versions. They will help you develop your relationship with God in ways you may have never considered before.
Rather than desperately longing for a romantic connection, you can earnestly seek God and thirst for his loving presence. If your season of singleness feels dry, God will give you living water, so your thirst is fully quenched (John 4:13-14).
3. Use it as a healing time.
O LORD my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me. – Psalm 30:2
Perhaps you are in a season of singleness against your will. You may have endured a painful breakup from a dating partner or deep heartache after divorce or death. Or you may be hesitant to engage in relationships due to a difficult childhood.
The state of being single affords you the chance to heal from damaged emotions. You can invest a great deal of time in self-improvement, seeking God’s healing in the deepest places of your heart. A Christian counselor can guide you through the process of healing your emotions.
The good news about the hard work of healing is that you will enter every other relationship as a wholly healed person. You won’t bring unprocessed baggage into your relationship. Instead, you’ll be a healthier, wiser person after you go through the healing process.
4. Explore what you like to do.
And I commend joy, for man has nothing better under the sun but to eat and drink and be joyful, for this will go with him in his toil through the days of his life that God has given him under the sun. – Ecclesiastes 8:15
Singleness is a great time for self-discovery. Maybe you have been so caught up in previous relationships that you lost sight of your identity as an individual. Being single gives you the chance to enjoy life just the way you like it.
Go back to hobbies you had in your younger years and try them out again. You may rediscover a previous love for the arts, sports, engineering, or any other kind of replenishing activity. Schedule at least one hour a week for activities that simply make you glad. Exploring what you like to do is a form of self-care. It’s good to embrace yourself just the way God made you, with your unique likes and preferences.
5. Learn new things.
Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning. – Proverbs 9:9
Learning new things is a fun part of being single. You can try things out without consulting anyone else on how to spend your time or money. You can experiment with new activities and classes, different genres of movies and television shows, and even group activities for singles.
It’s important to always be growing as a person. In your singlehood, you can pick just what you’d like to learn about for the first time. This choice will help you grow in understanding and help you enjoy life on a deeper level. Search online for new activities to try. You can find them in colleges, community groups, and churches. Stretch yourself to try something new, and you may discover a favorite hobby!
6. Serve the Lord in your singleness.
I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. – 1 Corinthians 7:32
Singleness frees you up to serve the Lord in ways that are more complicated as a married person. You can volunteer for many activities that won’t interfere with a spouse’s schedule and won’t make you feel guilty since you aren’t spending that time with your spouse.
Check with your local church to learn about the ministries in which you can serve. You may be surprised to find there are more ways to serve than you originally expected. Choose activities based on your spiritual gifts and things you like so you will stick with them.
For example, if you are an introvert, you may not thrive as a greeter. But you might like to prep materials for Sunday school behind the scenes. Conversely, extroverts may enjoy serving on the worship team or as leaders for vacation Bible school. There are many ways you can serve the Lord in your singleness – just ask your local church.
7. Serve others in your singleness.
For those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves and also great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus. – 1 Timothy 3:13
This passage was written for the deacons and overseers in the first-century church. The apostle Paul explained to the young pastor Timothy what kind of character lay leaders needed to have, and his guidance frequently involved how to treat other people (see 1 Tim. 3).
You can serve other people through a church, but you can also serve others in your community. Many schools need volunteers for reading tutors. You can get involved in setting up food drives, assisting with community programs, delivering meals to the elderly, and many other activities of service for others.
There are great rewards for serving others. You get the rewards described in 1 Timothy 3:13, along with the rewards of feeling good about giving. Serving others in your singleness drives selfishness out of your heart, and blesses you with the satisfaction of doing good works for God’s glory.
Christian Counseling for Singleness
As you can see, being single has its benefits, and you can learn to love the fact that you are single. However, many singles are not happy with their status, and they want to learn how to be better prepared for relationships in the future.
If you feel this way, meeting with a Christian counselor can help. Your counselor will affirm you, pray for you, and offer you practical help that meets the needs of your unique situation. Contact us today to learn how Christian counseling can help.
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