How Can Christian Counseling Help My Relationship With God?

The first time that I heard about Carl Rogers was in a psychology class during my undergraduate years. Carl Rogers, an American Psychologist, is best known for his counseling approach of having ‘unconditional positive regard’ for every client that he worked with. He labeled this as the “person-centered approach.”

The Person-Centered Approach

It is the concept of viewing and interacting with another person in a way that communicates that they are valued and cared for without exception. In graduate school, the implementation of this approach was the foundation for our training in the clinical relationship between client and counselor.

I remember being slightly amused when our class was studying this approach. It was amusing to me that this approach was presented as new or revolutionary at the time when it came into practice in the psychology world, in the twentieth century.

In fact, as any person who encounters Christ in Scripture will attest, it was Jesus, as God incarnate, who revolutionized having unconditional positive regard for other humans, without exception. Jesus had unconditional positive regard for all people, even those who ridiculed, mocked, and eventually killed Him.

The basic concept behind this foundational counseling approach is that people are motivated to change when they experience unconditional positive regard. People seek counseling when they desire change in their lives, so it follows that setting conditions where change is most likely to come about is essential.

I believe that what Jesus taught and commanded and how He interacted with others not only aligns with this but goes above and beyond this concept. Jesus did call people to repentance and change, while simultaneously treating them with dignity and love. Jesus’ relationship with all humanity has infinitely more depth to it than the person-centered approach or any other theory or approach that psychology can offer.

Christian Counseling and Jesus’ Person-Centered Approach

The foundation of Christian Counseling begins with a counselor who responds to Jesus’ call to interact and care for others in the way that He did. It is not just an approach; it is a call, based on an understanding of the eternal value of each person.

This is one way that Christian Counseling could help your relationship with God – providing a relationship with a person who provides care and treats you with the dignity that Jesus does, to provide the conditions needed for change. As a Christian counselor, my interaction with each client is based on my belief that we are created in the image and likeness of God.

Because of this and because we accepted salvation, God has bestowed on each of us infinite worth through sharing in His eternal life. We have infinite worth because we have Jesus’ life within us. My approach to you, offering care and respect without exception, is commanded by God. It is not merely an approach, but a deeply held belief, coming from God.

Although I agree with Carl Rogers that motivation for change does occur in a relationship that provides unconditional positive regard, I contend that Christian Counseling offers more depth. Christian Counseling offers another person, the counselor, who not only offers unconditional positive regard as a medium for change, but also offers care and dignity to the other as a medium for others to step into a deeper relationship with God, who then directs the change.

Our calling is to lead a person to the author of life, who then directs change. Hannah, from the book of Samuel, comes to mind. When she presents the infant Samuel in the temple, she prays: “I prayed for this child and the Lord granted my request. Now I, in turn, give him to the Lord…” (1 Sam 1:2-28). As Christian Counselors, we offer our clients back to the Lord, knowing that it is His providence that directs all change and healing.

Christian Counseling and One’s Relationship with God

This calling is not to be taken lightly. Entering any relationship is a risk. Entering a therapeutic relationship with a counselor is a risk that has higher stakes. It has higher stakes because the nature of the relationship between counselor and client is one that asks the client to be vulnerable and honest in a way that most relationships do not ask.

When a client chooses to be vulnerable with their emotional life, they open themselves up to being influenced by the counselor. As a Christian counselor, there is a spiritual responsibility that comes with that.

The responsibility is to not lead the client away from God and to not affirm behaviors that will lead them away from God. As with many risks, the benefit that comes with it is what motivates one to take the risk. The benefit of opening up one’s interior emotional life is the possibility of inviting God into this life, which leads to a fuller and more robust relationship with God.

So many of us move through life truly desiring greater intimacy with God. But most, if not all of us, have at least one part of us that we dare not bring to our relationship with God. For many people, this is our interior emotional life. It can be a confusing part of ourselves to navigate. Sometimes we fall for age-old heresies that have taught that emotions are unholy or not something that God cares about.

This could not be further from the truth. God created humans with emotions and called them good. Jesus implored people to give God their hearts. He didn’t say to give God their reasoning, logic, and intellect; He asked for our hearts. The Israelites understood that the heart referred to the place where people experience their innermost feelings and thoughts.

In Ezekiel, we read God telling His people, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” (Ez 36:26). Here God is communicating that His people will come to Him through their hearts, not despite their hearts! Jesus also speaks about the human heart throughout the gospels.

In the gospel of Luke, Jesus states “where your treasure is, there will your heart be” (12:34) and he also commands “Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, your mind and soul” (10:27). And then after some of the Apostles encounter Jesus after his resurrection they say to each other “Were not our hearts burning within us?” (Lk 24:32). Our hearts, our interior life, is a way that God wishes to be in relationship with us, both in the old and new covenant.

Cultivating Freedom Through Christian Counseling

Another way that Christian Counseling can help one’s relationship with God is through cultivating freedom in our hearts through an awareness of disorder in our mental health. Like physical health, disorder in our mental health can cause great suffering and can skew our desire to choose what is good, true, and beautiful.

We have all had experiences of great bodily pain, which makes it difficult to think outside of ourselves and serve others. Mental illness can have the same effect. However, neither one determines the strength of one’s relationship with God. Decreasing or lack of mental health symptoms does not equate to holiness. One could be the most mentally healthy person and still choose to turn away from God and refuse to allow Him into one’s heart.

Here is where we encounter the mystery of human suffering. While Jesus was on earth, He healed many infirmities. And yet we all suffer in some way. Some find mental and physical healing while still on earth, and some continue to suffer throughout their earthly lives. And, as Christians, we recognize a clear call to provide help to those who suffer.

This is why I carefully stated that it is through awareness of disorder that one can gain more freedom to choose God and walk in His ways. We may not experience healing as we imagine, but we can certainly find greater freedom in our suffering. As Christians, we believe in freedom for, not merely freedom from. God desires freedom for us to share in His life more abundantly.

Due to our fallen nature, all of us repeatedly fall into sin. We repeatedly fail to love others in the way to which we were first created. Often, the cause of our failures can be due in part to disorder in our mental health. Another area that Christian counseling could help your relationship with God, through identifying any disorder in mental health disorder that is causing suffering or impeding one’s freedom to follow God.

Next Steps

In conclusion, we have explored three ways that Christian Counseling can help one’s relationship with God. Firstly, entering a relationship focused on providing the unconditional care that Jesus provided may naturally invite the change that one is seeking.

Secondly, in this relationship of unconditional care that comes forth from God, there is an opportunity to open up one’s interior emotional life to allow God to enter, with the guidance of another Christian. Thirdly, once in this relationship that offers conditions for experiencing unconditional care and readiness for change, one can gain awareness of the disorder that may be impeding one’s road to holiness.