First You Sin

We’ve all been in that situation where you know doing something will not end well, you do it anyway, and– SURPRISE – something bad happens. This may have looked like something as minor as setting your bowl of cereal on the couch before sitting down (that was a mess) or something as grievous as gambling away your children’s college fund. Like Adam and Eve, we let that sinful voice in our hearts tell our brain everything will work out, even though that goes against everything we’ve even been taught or experienced. And as our forebears learned, self-deception often leads to disaster and the attending loss of self-esteem.

While small errors such as spilling cereal all over your mom’s couch usually just make you feel like an idiot, graver missteps such as adultery can lodge those unwanted houseguests guilt and shame so firmly into your soul it feels as if they’ll never leave.

Then You Hide It

We feel guilty and ashamed because we haven’t lived up to the standard we tell others and ourselves we believe– Christ’s standard. “For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.” (Romans 7:18 ESV) That crack in our integrity lets in pain.

But because we don’t want others to know about our missteps (no one can find out we’re not absolute saints!) we’ll often put our efforts toward hiding our sin and shame, rather than rectifying it.

Keeping secrets from others leads to separation (unless it’s something like a surprise birthday party, those are OK) As a one-episode character from the office advised Manager Michael Scott, “Secret secrets are no fun; secret secrets hurt someone.” Your cagey behavior will be noticed, and it will hurt those around you. Like a cigarette butt carelessly tossed from a car window into a dry patch of grass, what begins as a small problem, if left unchecked, will eventually swell into a blaze powerful enough to consume a forest.

By pulling away from those around you, not only are you wasting time and energy keeping your secret from others, you’re also alienating the support system that would help you solve your problem. This only serves to exacerbate the issue because you’ve driven away any who would be willing to confront or help you.

Healing and Reconciliation

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” (James 5:16) Pursuing healing and reconciliation is difficult because it forces us to examine our lives; we must reveal our flaws to ourselves and others. Sometimes we are met with resistance because our pursuit of integrity reveals to others the absence of upright behavior in their own lives.

As the Aquabats remind us so poetically, “There are times when you find lobsters in a bucket can’t climb out. Why won’t they climb away? Because other lobsters pull them down… People too, me and you, can also be like lobsters in buckets. It’s all just one big mess,”

Rather than simmering in your problems until they cause irreparable damage, find someone to pull you out of your “bucket.” Working through the issues that tempted you, caused you to act on that temptation and then hide your sin can help you identify problems in your life and catalyze growth. Consider consulting a more mature Christian, a pastor, or a Christian counselor to help your work through your problems and pursue healing and growth.

Images cc: freedigitalphotos.com – “Confused Man” by artur84