Managing Your Emotions When Under Pressure By Making Moments Count

Have you ever been driving only to find that you don’t remember the experience, or which roads you took? You somehow just got there because it was a familiar route that you take all the time. Or have you ever been reading only to suddenly realize that you have been thinking about something else, and have no idea what you just read? These are examples of mindlessness, and they are common to all of us. We call it “zoning out.”

“Zoning out” often occurs when we are overloaded or exhausted. It is a way in which we give our minds and bodies a respite in the midst of all the stresses and mundane tasks of life. But have you ever wanted to reclaim those mundane moments and make them meaningful? Or learn to choose what you want to do, rather than just doing things out of obligation?

Mindfulness : Making Our Moments Count

In the teaching of mindfulness, we learn how to make our moments count. We seek to relish our life, rather than just getting through the days. In our over-worked culture, we may feel that it is enough to just survive until the weekend and then finally get some rest or just numb out. Or we may feel as if we do not ever get a break. If you relate, read on.

Mindfulness skills are important because:

• They can help you to focus on one thing at a time in the present moment, and by doing this you can better control and soothe your overwhelming emotions.
• They can help you learn to identify and separate judgmental thoughts from your experiences. These judgmental thoughts often fuel your overwhelming emotions.
• They can help you develop a skill called wise mind that is very important in a particular kind of therapy called Dialectical Behavioral Therapy.

Alternatives to Numbing Out

Think about some times that you have felt overwhelmed. It may have been at work, or at school, worrying about a deadline. Or it may have been while trying to bring your children to the park. Or after a difficult phone conversation. Whatever it was, can you identify what you were feeling? “Overwhelmed” can include feelings of anxiety, sadness, or stress that just become too much. We do not feel able to handle the feeling, so we just numb out or zone out. But is there another option?

It might be a good idea to explain what Mindfulness Teaching calls “judgmental thoughts.” Here is an example: You get off the phone with a friend and feel deeply sad at your friend’s news that she is pregnant. You and your husband have been trying to become pregnant for months now. You might say to yourself, “What a horrible friend you are. You cannot even be happy for her. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.” This is an example of a judgmental thought. But there is another way.

Becoming Mindful

“Wise mind” is something we will discuss in another article. For now, let us focus on becoming more mindful of each moment-to-moment experience for the purpose of observing how you feel without being judgmental of that feeling. When you are able to observe and simply experience that feeling, you can separate truth from lie. You can identify what needs attention in your soul, in your mind, in your life.

Take the previous example of a judgmental thought and imagine this: After you get off the phone, you start to feel horribly sad. You cannot explain it, but instead of leaving the feeling by calling yourself a “horrible friend,” try to be intentional with that feeling in that moment. Sit down somewhere comfortable. If you are outside, maybe imagine your judgmental thoughts floating away on clouds. If you are near a tree, imagine those thoughts floating down from the tree in the leaves. They are separate from you. Then you can identify your emotion(s). If you are feeling intense sadness, you may just need to cry. Emotions are signals to us of something that needs attention. They do not identify us.

Christian Counseling to Manage Your Emotions

This may sound simple, but it can be surprisingly difficult to slow down your thoughts sufficiently in order to feel your emotions or come to a wise decision. If you would like some help trying exercises like this within the safety of a counselor’s office, consider calling a Christian counselor today.